Hurry Up and Wait

It doesn't matter what job I've work at, "Hurry up and wait..." has been a recurring theme.

Rush to meet the deadline of one kind or another, only to stand around waiting for the other shoe to drop - for the last page of the newspaper to arrive, for the cow line to get moving again, for the rush order cabinet door to be made and put through the final process of sanding. And now, we 'rush' to get the deliveries made on time all week while I try to learn the ins and outs of real life trucking, only to find myself twiddling my thumbs on the weekends.

Hela vs the Valkyries needs to be a movie of its own...

You'd think I'd welcome this "free time". I could use it to write or read. Work on either Bigger than the Beetles, the third book in my series, or on a blog post. Even blog ahead if I was smart. Instead, I sit here at my laptop binge watching old episodes of Deep Space 9. Okay, I also watched Ant-Man and the Wasp as well as Thor Ragnarok (the best Thor movie and in the top 5 for the Marvel movies in general in my opinion). Right now I have A Solo Story lined up to watch next, once I'm done cooking. But then I'll go back to Deep Space 9...although the more I watch the Harry Potter movie on the tv, the more I'm tempted to just keep watching that! It's early yet and I won't be going back to work until sometime tomorrow, so maybe I'll manage all of it!

I'm struggling with depression this weekend, with a smattering of anxiety. Some of it stems from the bit of the squabble I had with my trainer shortly before week's end. Some of it stems from being in a strange place all by myself. Granted, I'm in the same nice hotel I was last weekend, so it's not as strange as it was. I managed to go to Walmart today without panicking, and that's always a plus. I have 232 training hours left before I can join my husband and we can bring our dog along, thus reducing my anxiety and depression, and it seems unbearably long at this moment.

missing my girl :(

I did put in a call to the company's Student department, and we're going to see if we can fix the schism between me and my trainer. There was so little communication between she and I on Friday, that I don't know whether it can be fixed. It all boils down to poor communication in the first place. We shall see.

Just one more hiccup in this journey we call life. I know that I'll get through this and come out for the better. No doubt I'll use it for the characters in my stories. I just need to get through the worse part of this momentary bout the blues before I can channel it into their angst. I hate this part of my depression - I can never write when I'm in this certain spot. Pisses me off because writing makes me happy. I've never understood this quirk.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful day, whether you're celebrating Easter or Passover or neither.

Transitions

I'd like to say my life is settling ... but I have the feeling that as soon as I say it, there will be an upheaval of some kind to prove me wrong!

I feel much better still being in bed at this morning hour...
in the evening, it's half an hour until my lunch break!

Probably the biggest news I can give you is that I've changed jobs.  I am no longer a day-shifter, but am headed into my second week of being back on second shift.  For training purposes I had to be on day shift for the first two weeks of my new job.  I'm still working on adjusting to a new schedule, but I'm already feeling better after leaving my old job.  Not all of my aches and pains have left, but enough for me to feel relief.

It is nice being on the same schedule as my husband.  While we're not allowed to work in the same department, we do work in the same building and he apparently sees me in passing more than I do him.  Probably because whenever he goes to break, I am too busy to look for him!  Of course, I am working through a temp agency and have about 75 more days left before the company will consider hiring me on directly. I have no doubts that they will, but I supposed anything can happen between now and then.

Of course, I've signed on during their slow season.  I have yet to hit a full 40 hour paycheck.  But through Mr. Janney's previous work experience, I know that this won't last long.  Soon it'll be 12 hour shifts and 7 days a week and we'll never be seen!  Our dog will probably end up killing us in our sleep!

I am almost to the point where I'm ready to resume writing.  It has been hard recently.  Absolutely no motivation to pen new words, no desire to visit with my imaginary friends and enemies.  Even blog posts feel like slogging through mucky mire.  Part depression, part stress, part anxiety.  It's slowly resolving itself, bit by bit.  That which has been caused by circumstances anyways.

And like I usually do, I will use that as fuel for my characters and plot.  Cuz that's how I roll.

Hope you all enjoy the rest of your day!

12 Hour Shifts and Late Night Movies

My husband has been enjoying his new job, as much as anyone can enjoy a job that is repetitive and mundane.  It pays decent enough for our area, and they've been working a lot of hours.  He was supposed to work last evening (he works second shift, 3-11:30) but something broke and they were released after just over 2 hours into their shift).  So we did what any other couple would have done and made it into Movie Night!

First, we watched Escape Plan with Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger - and a lot of other actors I knew that I knew but couldn't put a name to until I looked the movie up so I could spell Arnold's last name (which you notice I didn't try spelling again even with it directly above lol)  People like Jim Caviezal, Sam Niell and Faran Tahir...at least with the last two I was able to connect them with the movies I recognized them from, with Caviezal's character I kept thinking "Gosh, he sounds familiar."

I have to say I loved the movie.  It was funny.  My favorite line was when Stallone's character punched Arnold's and Arnold came back with, "You hit like a vegetarian."  I'm guessing that was said in an effort not to say, "You hit like a girl."  It was a good call, although I'm sure there are a lot of vegetarians out there going, "Oh yeah!?!?!?!"  (Us girls will take any improvement in how we are regarded - but that's for another post.  Especially since both movies we watched were male dominated.)

The second movie we watched was just "ok" so I won't even name it.  It was a deep movie that could have been better had they picked up the pace and moved things along quicker.  A lot quicker.

Anyways, by the time the movies were finished, it was 1:30am going on 2.  No big deal until Hubby says, "Oh, I forgot...we're working 12 hours shifts this week."  Say what?  His work gives their workers the choice of working 4 hours before their normal start time OR 4 hours later than normal.  My husband doesn't like working that late anymore (we both used to do it all the time) so he goes in at 11am.  Which means we have to be up at least by 9am, giving ourselves at best 7 hours of sleep.  Not the end of the world, but it was still not a pleasant surprise!

I still go to physical therapy three times a week, Mon-Wed-Fri if I can get it.  And I like to schedule them about 11-11:30 which gives us enough time for sleeping and getting him to work at 3.  So today I drove him in and went to therapy, and get to go back and get him later.  I am feeling that 'not enough sleep' feeling right now!!  I did reschedule the therapy for Friday, as the friend I get a ride from will be away that day.  As well as two other doctor appointments I had scheduled.  Ugh.  Given how his schedule can change, no doubt they aren't secure where they're at, but it'll have to do for now.

It tasted as good as it looked...

Friday I will also get to have a late lunch with my mom, which will be fitting since my birthday is on Thursday.  I think she just wants to go to Moose's Munchies, that's where I'm picking a cake up on Friday.  Moose's Munchies is a family owned and operated bakery/diner in Troy, PA and I love them - and not just because we're related.  The food is excellent, the staff friendly.

And I loved Lindsey's cake she made for Hubby and I last year.  I gave real thought about freezing the top layer and saving it for the first year anniversary.  But I decided to "cheat" and have a replica made because:

• I didn't want to bother with what the internet said was the right way to protect the cake from freezer burn.
• At the time I didn't have the extra freezer space to keep it that long.
• And I'm not really that big in keeping all the traditions anyway.  I have nothing against traditions, but if I don't want to keep it, I'm not going to.  I get to pick and chose which traditions I keep or don't keep right?  I haven't been struck by lightning yet!

I don't know how much time I'll get to spend with my hubby that day; it will depend on whether or not he has to work Sunday again.  But we take whatever moments we can get.  Right now, we take each moment that we get because I will eventually be going back to work - as soon as my foot heals like it is supposed to - and after that, well he and I have worked opposite shifts before and survived, but I don't think we'll get to see each other until the weekends unless my department finishes early and I get to come home before he leaves for work.  I see the doctor on Monday now, and will know more then about any further treatment options. So we live pretty much moment by moment right now, and go with how things are flowing.

What good movies have you all watched recently?  I know that might sound like an odd question for a writer and lover of reading and books, but I also love movies because that is how I see the stories in my head.  Of course, I am privy to all the other information I write, but it still has that movie flow to it.

2014 ~ One year later than last year...

Two Frustrating Days Caused Me To Go Offline

Frustration upon frustration!  Doctor's appointments and tax appointments!

Not only did I not post here, but I didn't get my post on Broads of a Feather done.  I haven't been on Google+, or Twitter.  I've posted a few things on Facebook, reaching out to friends and trying to de-stress.  And I didn't always make good decisions, but hey we're all human - ish.

Tired but adorable :)

Time has not been my friend since Thursday afternoon.  Getting mother to the doctor's was no problem, and when I had barely say down to check my Facebook notifications and they called us back, I figured it was going to be a quick and easy in and out appointment.  Not so fast there!  An hour later I was ready to crawl up the walls as the doctor still had not made his appearance.  Only to learn he wouldn't do anything for her except change her medicines. Friday's appointment went smoother, but I still didn't get home until almost the same time that I did Thursday night.  So tired I was ready to cry.

No, wait - I did cry.  Nevermind!  

I did have a short work day morning yesterday, and the hubby wanted to hang out for a while after I got home.  That's always nice.  And I did get on the computer later in the evening with the intent of writing, but my Facebook addiction got in the way. Facebook and I have a very love/hate relationship - kind of like me and my iPhone!  I only have it open on my phone at the moment, and that's easier to ignore.

I'm not sure if things are stabilizing out in my life, or if it's just a brief lull.  Those happen and I never trust them.  I intend on making the most of it though.  There's no telling how long it's going to last.

Sometimes there are too many things in life to balance.

Going to go work on my other blog post now.

2014 - Back After These Messages