Roller Coaster Day

Well, I'm back a little sooner than I expected, but there's nothing wrong with that!

Mr Janney and I have had a bit of a rough couple of months when it comes to having stuff stolen from us. Up until today it was nothing major, just a few treats stolen from our lunch box at work. Seriously, who does that? In the middle of my work day is the best time for me as a diabetic to have a treat, but oh well, no big loss. Irritating to be sure, even as 'minor' of a violation as it is.

But today's experience was a little more serious.

I was awake but still in bed when my husband called me just a few minutes after leaving for work. He wanted me to check his dirty clothes for his wallet because he had found some cards on the ground next to the truck before he left. Uh oh. So I got out of bed and started looking.  I even checked the washed clothes in the dryer to see if I'd washed it since the last time he'd seen it had been Sunday before I started laundry. Nothing. He was like, 'Well, someone's been in our truck then. They took the coins in the dash and my wallet.'

Well, crap.

Since he was already on the road, I sent him to the state police barracks to report it while I got on the phone with the bank to report his debit card as stolen.  Once my part was done, I walked the dog and decided to wander out to our small driveway to see if there was anything else laying on the ground. Sure enough, his debit card and another older card lay face down on the ground almost at the end of the driveway, almost on the pavement of the trailer park road. Whew!! Even though it had been cancelled and he has to request a new one, it was still something of a relief to find that. I haven't figured out what to do about the driver's license or the permit to carry a concealed weapon, but that's what Google is for. right?

The thief did make off with some cash. Twenty dollars and a couple bucks in change. But since he (or she) dropped the debit card, which doubles as a credit card, it could have been much worse. Like I said to Mr. Janney, all they would need to order something online is the front and back numbers. Hopefully we dodged a bullet there.

So then, the day was off to a pretty dismal start.  No point in going back to bed for another forty-five minutes when my alarm would go off, so I stayed up and made my tossed salad and fried some chicken. I also managed to get some laundry put away, laundry that I've been trying to get put away for a few weeks now.  So low in energy even though the increased thyroid meds have lowered my levels down to just above 2. Which is good, but since I still feel so crummy we're going to try one more dosage increase.  Hopefully I'll be outrunning my husband then.

Work was its usual for about ten minutes. At which time I was told I had to go out for my annual hearing test in another ten minutes. Which was still an 'ok whatever, no big deal' reaction. Even though that was a weird experience in itself since they test about 8 of us at the same time, in the same room...well, it was kind of like a camper/trailer type thing and then the instructor shut the door and I was thinking "claustrophobic much?" But anyway, before that happened, like - about 2 minutes before I was going to set my door down and start walking in the direction I needed to go, my supervisor comes up to me and asks if I'm busy. Uhm, yeah, kinda...But she had white envelopes in her hands and I knew what that had to mean so even though I had very little time, she pulled me off to the side and informed me that I was finally able to be hired on as a full time employee (as opposed to working as a Temp). Yay!

So that lifted my spirits quite a bit. I get my health insurance through my husband, so I haven't been worried about that.  But I'll be able to start a 401K again and start saving for that imaginary day when I can retire. And I'll get paid holidays and vacation days.  And after that, nothing about the night was normal. Like I said to the one QA before leaving, it was just a weird night. People kept being cycled through for their hearing tests, so I was working in different places for about half an hour. We finally caught up with our product line and had to wait for new product to get to our section of the plant. No lunch and we ended up leaving just before 9pm. As opposed to the full night we had the night before. Go fig.

Life certainly can be a roller coaster sometimes! Sometimes several times a day! Here's hoping for a good rest of the week!

Here We Are Again!

The start of a new year.

I've seen many hopes and wishes for the upcoming year throughout different media outlets.  When we have a rough year, it's natural to wish for a turn of events in the new year.  2014 was a decent year for me, and I had such high hopes for 2015 and boy was it a lot rougher than what I was anticipating.

But we survived it and now are faced with another new year.  Like many others I hope it turns out better than the last one!

Things will be different, to be sure.  Mr. Janney is back to work and I have changed jobs.  We're both feeling better physically, so that right there is a huge plus in our favor!

And since I managed to accomplish some of the things that I wanted to get done this past week while we were off work, and even a few that were surprises, it's given me a higher hope for the new year.  We haven't been through the clothes in our closet yet, but Mr. Janney and I went through both our dressers and weeded out clothes we can't or shouldn't wear anymore.  We got rid of a good bit.

We finally got the top coat of sealant on the table Mr. Janney made me a year ago. It's so shiny and pretty!  It took us longer than it should have because the first time hubby tried sanding the top...he sanded too far and then we had to buy a new board.  But it was worth it, because this turned out so  nice.

I am terrible at keeping my table clear of clutter.  It is somehow my hoarder parents fault - just joking...But anyway, it's a learned habit that I am determined to unlearn this year.  So far, the only things on the table are my blood testing kit, my medicine container and the roll of paper towels.  Which really, is an accomplishment so far.

One of the reasons why I believe I can do this, is my husband also decided to finally make me some shelves.  Either because he loves me or just so I'd stop asking, I'm not a hundred percent sure!  I was just asking for free standing shelves, but he felt that they would get in the way so he decided to build them into an already existing nook.  Really, this is why I let him rearrange the furniture and stuff like that because he has a better eye for it than I do.

And he did a great job!  I finally have somewhere to put my bulky appliances. What home ever has enough counter space anyway? I mean, unless you've designed the house yourself, the odds are slim.

Our toaster spent many long months sitting on the edge of our table near an outlet, but it wasn't close enough so we always had to use an extension cord.  And I never had a good spot to store the large electric grill a friend bought me for my birthday a few years ago when we didn't have propane to cook.

But I do now.  I grin every time I walk by it.  I still have a few pieces to relocate.  The rotisserie cooker Grandma Peterson gave us a while back still needs to change locations.  It's a huge relief for me to have this.  I did help him.  I was working on doing the dishes that day so I could be near whenever he needed me to hold boards and put in screws.  We had to put the dog in her cage during all this, because she wanted to be right in the middle of all the action and that's just not a good mix with power tools.

I still have to reorganize the items that were already on the small shelf that this is build under and into.  Then my toaster will be sitting on the top, right where there's an outlet so I won't have to move it anymore or use an extension cord.

Another thing that happened is I had a break through with one of the scenes in my novel that's been bothering me.  So I'm hoping that means the writing bug has bitten and that stuff will start flowing again.  I know I'm not the only one that likes hearing that...my mother-in-law asked my just last night if I was going to be releasing book 3 anytime soon.  Well, it's looking sooner than what it was last week.  Not going to be brave enough to even begin to estimate a date though!

Hope everyone had a safe and happy start to the new Year!  Here's looking at 2016!

Changes To Be Made

A peaceful spot to get away from the stress...

As I discussed in my post at Broads of a Feather, I am going to be making changes to my online presence.  I haven't made up my mind entirely as to what these changes are going to be, but they will be made.

Which isn't a bad thing.

I've  been wanting to post here more often, but given the state of my mind and emotions these past few weeks, I haven't been able to come up with anything good to post. Which is my own fault because I've always wanted to have some kind of schedule/plan for a few weeks out so I don't have to come up with something fresh each time I want to post; I've never sat down and written one out.

I have managed to get some writing done this summer, though nothing like I had originally planned.  My stories are never far from my thoughts.  It has been a very stressful summer, and truthfully shows no sign of abating anytime soon.

Our home is scheduled to be sold through a Sheriff Sale in September. I was making payments on it before my husband and I became injured and our finances began to suffer.  Rent continues to be an issue as well.

Even though I managed to convince my doctor to release me back to full time work, he wouldn't do it immediately (he didn't want to do it at all) so my return is at an hour a day a week at a time and I won't be back up to 8 hours a day for another week.  It is frustrating because it's not going to be in time.  My husband says he's going to ask the doctor to return him back to full duty when he sees her again at the end of the month, and I'm a little worries because he's only back to about 85%.  But it's a few weeks away still so maybe he'll be ready.  Or ready enough.

Which will create another 'problem' as we work different shifts and since we lost the car earlier this summer, transportation will be .... interesting.  I'll be talking to my friend and neighbor about riding in with her in probably another week.  And maybe a ride home too, even though it won't matter who I ride with I'll have to wait for them to get done since I'll only be working 8 hours and our departments are actually working 9 right now.

I know all things will end up working out somehow.  I just wish it would even out already!  We could both use a break from "life"!

Mother's Day In November

First off, I have to say that I absolutely loved Carol's latest post at Broads of a Feather, and not just because she referenced two of my favorite things: Zombies and House MD!  Her post tied into my feelings this week about appreciating our parents because we never now how long we're going to have them around.

It all started when Carol shared a sad news story about a mother who ended her own child's life.  The child was autistic, her husband had health problems and she was at the end of her ropes.  She made a terrible choice and will probably never forgive herself.  It caused me to reflect on my own childhood and I was overwhelmed with gratitude that my mother never cracked like this woman did.

Glenn and Rosemary Slater
November 1979

And really, she could have.

I know the stories don't compare.  No two stories ever will.  There will always be differences in background, in upbringing, in personality and temperament.  None of us kids were autistic.  But my mom had five of us to raise while she tended her sick husband.  We weren't always a good help to her.

I have a lot of memories that I won't go into, because they involve more than just myself and it wouldn't be fair to go telling tales.  We weren't any worse or any better than any other kids, I imagine.  We could have been better behaved, but we could have been worse too.  When I spoke to Mom about this earlier this week, I told her to never feel like she was a failure at being a parent even when us kids fight amongst ourselves...because through it all she never cracked and she managed to get us all to adulthood and "normal" enough.

In a lot of ways, she almost had 6 kids.  I forget exactly what year it was, I was either 12 or 13, my father had to have surgery to untangle his bowels from the scar tissue that had formed after his appendectomy about a year and a half before.  I don't even remember which surgery it was, as he had several in a short amount of time, but during one he had a stroke either on the operating table or just before.

It changed all our lives, because he never recovered 100%.  It always seemed to be one complication after another.  I don't know if it was because he was diabetic or that his body was just as cantankerous as he was.  He never forgave the doctor that removed the respirator over a week after that fateful surgery and gave him a tracheotomy - because he never got rid of it.  I remember they tried once, but once again his body produced too much scar tissue and it began closing off his windpipe completely.

He ended up having to go to a hospital in Philadelphia to have laser surgery and have 2 inches of his trachea removed.  If memory serves, he was there for six weeks.  Mom only got to go down and see him once.

He died when I was 18, almost 19.  From complications of a second stroke.

I miss him this time of year, even though he wasn't always easy to get along with and really kind of had a tendency to be abusive especially after his stroke.  No matter what, he was my Dad.  I don't really remember much of the man he used to be before his stroke.  That part is like fading mist.  My favorite memory of him was when I was maybe 4, and hounding him for a peanut butter cake.  Even though I was interrupting the grown ups, he stopped what he was doing and pulled out his recipe books and started searching for a recipe for peanut butter cake.  In the end I think I got a chocolate mayonnaise cake with peanut butter frosting.  I remember how we used to go for rides during the Christmas season just to look at the lights and decorations.

I'm not sure how Mom dealt with her stress.  I know she had friends she talked to, and her sister.  I don't remember her ever getting a break, unless you count the times Dad was in the hospital, but I don't because I know how hard it was for her then too.  Dad expected her to visit him everyday.  I have more than a few memories of us 5 younger kids spending our evenings playing in the hospital parking lot and yard while she was in seeing him.

I know when I called and told her all this, how much I appreciated her not cracking under the pressure, that she was a little taken aback.  I mean, it was all out of the blue for her.  So I explained about the article and how it made me appreciate her more.  I told her how I had thought about tagging her in the Facebook comments, but I decided to call her and tell her instead.  Kind of a Mother's Day sentiment in November.

And that's kind of the point.  Life is short and we need to let people now that we love them and appreciate them, even if we don't agree with the choices they've made with their lives, even if we can't always get along with them.  Because all too soon, someone isn't going to be there anymore and we'll regret all the things we never said.  While I regret how many years lapsed between the last time I saw my oldest brother Glenn and the day of his funeral, I don't regret the last time we did see each other.  It was a family picnic and as we were packing up to leave, we gave each other a hug and said 'I love you'.

So, take a moment of your time and give someone a call and let them know you love them.  Because you never know when there isn't going to be a 'next' time.  Especially your parents.  They might not have been the best, they probably made mistakes and failed you or judged you.  But if you survived to adulthood, relatively sane enough, they didn't completely mess up.

And to all my readers, I appreciate you as well.  Without you, I might as well be sending words into empty space.  I am working hard at proofing my second novel (I might have to increase the font size for the paperback.)

Leaving you with a picture of one of the few times all of us kids were home.  It was for our Dad's 60th birthday, which also happened to be Thanksgiving that year (Mom - correct me if I'm wrong, it's too late to call to check lol)  Mom is of course behind the camera.

November 23, 1989
Glenn Slater and his ten kids :)

2014 ~ No regrets...

12 Hour Shifts and Late Night Movies

My husband has been enjoying his new job, as much as anyone can enjoy a job that is repetitive and mundane.  It pays decent enough for our area, and they've been working a lot of hours.  He was supposed to work last evening (he works second shift, 3-11:30) but something broke and they were released after just over 2 hours into their shift).  So we did what any other couple would have done and made it into Movie Night!

First, we watched Escape Plan with Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger - and a lot of other actors I knew that I knew but couldn't put a name to until I looked the movie up so I could spell Arnold's last name (which you notice I didn't try spelling again even with it directly above lol)  People like Jim Caviezal, Sam Niell and Faran Tahir...at least with the last two I was able to connect them with the movies I recognized them from, with Caviezal's character I kept thinking "Gosh, he sounds familiar."

I have to say I loved the movie.  It was funny.  My favorite line was when Stallone's character punched Arnold's and Arnold came back with, "You hit like a vegetarian."  I'm guessing that was said in an effort not to say, "You hit like a girl."  It was a good call, although I'm sure there are a lot of vegetarians out there going, "Oh yeah!?!?!?!"  (Us girls will take any improvement in how we are regarded - but that's for another post.  Especially since both movies we watched were male dominated.)

The second movie we watched was just "ok" so I won't even name it.  It was a deep movie that could have been better had they picked up the pace and moved things along quicker.  A lot quicker.

Anyways, by the time the movies were finished, it was 1:30am going on 2.  No big deal until Hubby says, "Oh, I forgot...we're working 12 hours shifts this week."  Say what?  His work gives their workers the choice of working 4 hours before their normal start time OR 4 hours later than normal.  My husband doesn't like working that late anymore (we both used to do it all the time) so he goes in at 11am.  Which means we have to be up at least by 9am, giving ourselves at best 7 hours of sleep.  Not the end of the world, but it was still not a pleasant surprise!

I still go to physical therapy three times a week, Mon-Wed-Fri if I can get it.  And I like to schedule them about 11-11:30 which gives us enough time for sleeping and getting him to work at 3.  So today I drove him in and went to therapy, and get to go back and get him later.  I am feeling that 'not enough sleep' feeling right now!!  I did reschedule the therapy for Friday, as the friend I get a ride from will be away that day.  As well as two other doctor appointments I had scheduled.  Ugh.  Given how his schedule can change, no doubt they aren't secure where they're at, but it'll have to do for now.

It tasted as good as it looked...

Friday I will also get to have a late lunch with my mom, which will be fitting since my birthday is on Thursday.  I think she just wants to go to Moose's Munchies, that's where I'm picking a cake up on Friday.  Moose's Munchies is a family owned and operated bakery/diner in Troy, PA and I love them - and not just because we're related.  The food is excellent, the staff friendly.

And I loved Lindsey's cake she made for Hubby and I last year.  I gave real thought about freezing the top layer and saving it for the first year anniversary.  But I decided to "cheat" and have a replica made because:

• I didn't want to bother with what the internet said was the right way to protect the cake from freezer burn.
• At the time I didn't have the extra freezer space to keep it that long.
• And I'm not really that big in keeping all the traditions anyway.  I have nothing against traditions, but if I don't want to keep it, I'm not going to.  I get to pick and chose which traditions I keep or don't keep right?  I haven't been struck by lightning yet!

I don't know how much time I'll get to spend with my hubby that day; it will depend on whether or not he has to work Sunday again.  But we take whatever moments we can get.  Right now, we take each moment that we get because I will eventually be going back to work - as soon as my foot heals like it is supposed to - and after that, well he and I have worked opposite shifts before and survived, but I don't think we'll get to see each other until the weekends unless my department finishes early and I get to come home before he leaves for work.  I see the doctor on Monday now, and will know more then about any further treatment options. So we live pretty much moment by moment right now, and go with how things are flowing.

What good movies have you all watched recently?  I know that might sound like an odd question for a writer and lover of reading and books, but I also love movies because that is how I see the stories in my head.  Of course, I am privy to all the other information I write, but it still has that movie flow to it.

2014 ~ One year later than last year...

The Unmerciful Circle of Life

I must admit to a certain amount of melancholy today.  My Facebook post this morning certainly reflected that.  "Sometimes in the morning when I check Facebook on my phone, I'll scroll quickly through the 'top stories' before I switch to most recent. This morning I had two statuses 'side by side' that really made me stop and pause. Posted roughly 6 hours apart, one was a new mama sharing how she and her hubby were falling in love with their firstborn...the second one was another mama sharing the devastating news that her daughter had just lost her fiance. I rejoice with the first, and mourn with the second. And I really have no words to describe my mood at the moment, maybe later."

I am certainly happy for my classmate who had the baby.  It is her first and a fulfilled hope I understand.  I can't wait to see the pics she will post as her baby boy begins to grow and mature.  Not having children of my own, I watch my friends' children grow with bittersweet joy.

But the grief for my other friend, who is only a little younger than I, who just lost her fiance is the dominant emotion at the moment.  Because that's something else I understand.  I didn't marry until this past summer, at the ripe old age of 37.  I had given up on romantic love a long time ago, and Mr. Janney was a surprise.  And as much as there are times when I want to sell him (and his Xbox!) to the nearest traveling circus - I can't imagine life without him.  Well, I can but that's beside the point.  And here is my friend, having found 'the one' - and in a heartbeat, he was gone.  I'm not sure the full story, just that he was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia and that an EEG revealed abnormalities.  That was on Friday.  This morning I read that he passed away on Saturday.

When Mr. Janney and I were discussing marriage one night on the way home from his parents, well it was more of an argument really, one of the things he was saying in an attempt to say that things in our relationship were fine as they were was that he loved me ... 'maybe' forever.  Maybe?  That lit a spark in me.  We had just come from a funeral for his 90+ great-grandmother.  I very vocally reminded him that 'forever' could be over in heartbeat because we don't know what the future holds.  There is nothing guaranteed.  All sorts of unplanned random crap can and does happen all the time.  (It's 2014 - who dies from pneumonia???)  Needless to say it was a really quiet weekend after that conversation.  As in, I spend the rest of it in a different part of the trailer and just let him think.

By the end of the week, we were married.  Did we rush?  After being together for almost 5 years and living together for just over 4 - why piddlefart around?  Have I questioned it since then?  Ever since the purchase of GTA 5, more than a little.  Do I have peace about it?  Ever since my last drunk, yes.

Because life is not meant to be lived hesitantly.  Tweet it! :)

In my novel, when Craig brought up the idea of eloping, Angela of course needed time to think about it.  She was surprised, not just by his question but by how possible it was.  He had just proposed to her that afternoon, and should she be willing they could be married before the end of the day.  Naturally she was a little intimidated by the notion, but as they passed through Simmons Crossroads later that day, the intersection where her brother had met his death, she was reminded how quickly life could be over and gave into the spontaneity her fiance was offering her.  A chance to have a wish/desire fulfilled in a heartbeat (or as long as it took to fly to Vegas).

Ironically, this scene was written and 'set' before my own 'quick' marriage.  Whether it was a glimpse into my own future and I didn't realize it, or just my characters mirroring my emotions/mindsets, I may never fully know.  I know that in the second novel, set four years after then end of the first, the events that happen cause Craig to ask Angela is she regrets how quickly they married.  You'll have to wait for her answer (and the events that brought it up), as I don't want to spoil things to much for you.  Yet.

No matter where life finds you today, appreciate those around you even if they frustrate you, and don't hesitate to live to the fullest.

2014 - Life to the Fullest

Life's Distractions Are Time Consuming

I don't know where to begin.  Not really.

I guess for starters, I haven't been to get to the library to get my professional looking picture taken yet.  The

the next three years of my life signed away...but it's a sweet ride :)

photographer had a speech to prepare that day, and I ended up being taken around my small town car shopping.  But if all things happen for a reason, my newish Buick Le Sabre is worth the change in plans.

And then there has been work.  9 to 9 and a half hours of it.  And since we had another three day weekend this week is looking like it's going to shape up to be about the same, if not more of it.  There are rumors that our three day weekends could last for a few more weeks, but with the lack of a "Purple Hat" in our area there is no way to get any reliable information.

I did not blog.  I did not write in my novel - I may have gotten a sentence or two written in one project or another, but nothing of any substance!  I haven't been on G+.  I haven't done much Tweeting.  I have done a lot of Facebooking, as that is sometimes the easiest way to unwind after a long days work.

This past weekend was very relaxing though, as my husband essentially gave me a 48 hour date.  He took me out, pampered me here to home, and even fixed me breakfast in bed yesterday morning!  How I wish the 'love bug' would bite him more often!

And here we are on Monday, the last day in our three day weekend.  I have taken my husband to work, done one blog post, two once this one is done and posted, and about three loads of laundry.  And once this is done, and this post shared everywhere I usually share my posts, I think I am shutting the internet window down and just working on my novel.  All the while hoping and praying that another one of life's distractions doesn't come knocking on my door.  It's terrible I know, but sometimes I crave solitude.  Not for too long, just enough time to myself to be by myself - it helps me appreciate people a bit more ;)

2014 ~ Wild and Crazy!!

Loss and Life

Loss is a part of life.  There is no way around it at the moment, although there are times I insist I'm going to live forever!

When I was in third grade, age 8, my only surviving Grandmother died.  I never knew the rest of my other grandparents.  I remember not understanding what was going on.  And being sad.  Really sad.  I loved my grandmother.  I don't have a lot of memories, but I remember watching the ball come down on TV on New Year's Eve with her.  I remember the day after the dryer fire that burnt her house.  I remember how she looked in the casket when I was allowed to see her on the funeral day...like herself, but not.  It was scary.

That was my first experience with death, though far from the last.  My father died when I was 18.  The past three years has been especially hard, loosing one person or another about every six months.  One is never the same afterwards.

My brother's widow just lost her sister today.  I'm not sure what was wrong with her, I wasn't told that part.  I just knew that she was in the hospital and she wasn't expected to make it.  And it's just so sad.  Especially since I just got a Christmas card from my sister-in-law.  This isn't the time for funerals, this is supposed to be the time of joy and happiness.  My heart grieves for her.

If you are missing a loved one this holiday season, know that you're not alone.  It's okay to hurt and not be happy.  It's okay to cry.  It won't last forever.  Hold onto that.  You will never forget that person and you will always miss them, but one day it won't hurt so much.  Don't force yourself to quit grieving before you're ready, don't let anyone rush you.  It's a process that it unique to each person, and yes to each death.  I grieved differently for my brother than I did my father, differently for my friend Audrey who died from cancer and to whom my first book is dedicated.  Each person leaves a hole in your life, and that hole is as unique as they were.

Someday there will be joy again, and happiness.  Laughter and contentment.  Something will remind you of them...a song on the radio, a TV episode, a penny on the pavement...and it won't bring more sorrow.  Instead it will bring you a bittersweet happiness.  You will even smile.  Your step will be lighter for that moment.

May you find peace.  ♥