Here We Are Again

The candle holder says 'Dream'
A gift from my mother.

Here we are again. At the end of a year and at the cusp of a new one. A time to reflect on the past year, and a time to look forward with hope.

We've completed one more circle around that brilliant yellow orb in the sky and what do we have to show for it? A few more pounds, perhaps. Fewer dollars. But life goes on, right?

It most certainly does.

This past year has been a hard one for me emotionally. I gave up on my dreams of having my own children when I had my surgery back in March. While it was medically needed, it was still a hard thing for me to deal with. The finality of it all...coupled with the knowledge that even without the surgery, pregnancy was never going to happen for me...was a bitter pill to swallow. Mr. Janney and I have not ruled out adoption, but if we do it is a someday issue. Most likely we will remain that crazy aunt and uncle.

It has been a year of uncertainty as we struggled with jobs that ended at the 'wrong time' and schooling that didn't start at the 'right time'. But - we still have a roof over our head, and food on the table, so things aren't as bad as they've felt. I mean hey - Thanos snapped his fingers and we didn't disappear, so things can't be that bad, right?

The future is even more uncertain. Mr. Janney and I have our road retest January 3rd (we failed that part a few weeks ago). We're both feeling confident that this time we'll pass. We each failed some of our permit tests the first time around, and then nailed them the second time around. Like I told my 'doppelganger' Robyn at Sage - our timing has been 'off' all year, but it seems to be working out so, hey - there must be a reason. We're just going with the flow at the moment.

So, I've been using the time until then to work on my novels. My final edit of the revised Farmer's Daughter is complete and I just need to implement the corrections. Ring of Fire will be right behind it. Then I can pour everything into Bigger Than the Beetles. And try to decide whether I have enough ideas for a 6th novel in the series based on a dream I had the other night. We'll see. (If I do, it'll be called 'Full Dragon')

Sometimes I worry that I write too long of a story. My word counts come in near to the same length as Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring....yes, I've googled this. At least I am nowhere near the word count of Eye of the World or any of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time novels...I'm not sure I'd have any kind of fan base if I did that. Well, it's only one person who has complained about the length of the story and it's a person whose opinion I value so it's a bit of a struggle sometimes. On the other hand, I think it would make a great tv series, so there's that much.

I guess, better wrap this up for now. Just checking in with you all to remind you I'm still working at my stories amid life's uncertainty. I hope you've all had a pleasant enough holiday season and that it wraps up without incident next week as the current year blends into the new one.

Stay safe and much love!

Christmas and the Week After

Christmas is at the end of this week, and while for many Wednesday is the last day of the work work, for Mr. Janney and I it is also the last work day for this year.  We don't go back to work until January 4th!  Which wouldn't be a bad thing except only four out of those 7 days are holiday pay and Mr. Janney will be the only one getting that because I'm still too new there.  At least I'll be able to collect unemployment for those days, which is better than nothing.

For the most part, I'm looking forward to the time off.  I plan on sorting through our clothes and maybe reorganizing my desk.  It's good to have plans, right?

We'll see how far I get.  See you in the New Year (maybe by then I'll now how I really feel about the new Star Wars movie!)

Check out Amazon this week.  For the next two days, my novels Farmer's Daughter and Ring of Fire will be on sale for Kindle at only 99cents.  Then for three days after that, it'll be $1.99.  Also available on the UK site: Farmer's Daughter and Ring of Fire

A Week of...Slacking!

I cannot lie...I love big books...
On Chapter 39, lots left to go...

Like I admitted over on my Broads of a Feather post late Wednesday night, I've been slacking an awful lot this week.

Some of it was the three day weekend.  Some of it was just me feeling...blah.

Some of it was 'I just want to read!'  Like I detailed in the other blog post, I am up to my ears in books to read.  And that is a delicious feeling.  Not that there is ever any shortage on books to read.  Libraries are full of them.  So is my Kindle.  I don't know about you, but I love it when a book pulls me in.  Especially when it's one I've read before; some books never lose that magic.

Some of it was honestly being busy.  Ok, one afternoon when my mom and I went to my orthopedic doctor visit in Johnson City, New York.  And let me tell you, this country girl did not like driving in that rush hour traffic on the way back out.  I'm not even sure if I actually got in the 'city' limits, but it was close enough.  Too close!  Hopefully when I go back for my shoe inserts in three weeks, it won't be as bad.  A girl can hope can't she?

The past two nights I've taken dinner to my husband for his lunch break.  It's been nice getting to meet some of his coworkers.  Any time with my husband is a treat.  The funny part is today he asked me not to bring as much as I did yesterday...what?  Apparently his age is catching up to him and he can't eat like he used to.  Ha!  Who can?

And no matter how hard I try, I've been falling behind in the game we've been playing!  I blame that on having to go the physical therapy early enough while he's on the computer still playing!

Right now, I've gotten caught up in Pinterest recipes all because of a recipe my cousin shared in her Facebook group!  It looks really yummy, you can look at it here.

So because this is more of an apology post (sorry I've been slacking at posting), I'm going to keep it short so I can get back to Pinning...it's really too late to be getting back into proofing Ring of Fire.  Maybe tomorrow.


2014 ~ where is it going?

Full Speed Ahead

This post is really late tonight, because oh my goodness what a day it has been!  First there was the almost 9 hour work day...which started with me realizing I had left my ID/Time badge in my other pants and ended about 30 minutes sooner than usual when the lights went out at 3.  Of course, we had to wait and clear the line of meat before we could clean up and go home.  No big deal.  I come out into the locker room and find text messages from my hubby saying that we had no power at home.  ???  This could have been a problem as we heat by electricity!  But it came back on, and turned off again, and came back on...I almost wasn't sure if I dared try to write this!  So we went out to dinner, got double fortunes in our fortune cookies (that has to be good luck!  Esp. since they were spot on!) and came home to lights still on.  So here we are!

My hopes for the new year are fairly simple.

I expect to get myself caught up to speed on all this social networking business, which is really kind of fun, and sell more copies of my first novel.  I know that there will be some locals things done to help promote it, as my fifth grade English teacher has been talking to our local library about helping me out.  I'm not sure which is cooler...having the library hype my book, or my former English teacher giving it the thumbs up!

I also expect to finish the second book in the series, Ring of Fire, and edited and published.  By summer, if I'm lucky.  That's my goal at the moment.  Because once I 'finish' it, I know I'm going to want to let it sit for a bit before I edit it and do any necessary rewrites.  I don't think I'll need ten years like last time!

In my dreams, I would like a job change.  Mostly because what I am doing hurts my hands.  I had trouble driving home after work today.  Every time I had my left hand on the steering wheel, it would hurt between my middle and ring finger.  It's very unsettling.  Especially since I don't get to drive much anymore.  No real reason, aside from not having our own vehicle.

Which is another of my hopes/expectations for next year.  For my hubby to get his truck back on the road.  This project is closer than the last one, so I'm thinking it'll happen.  I so miss my little Beretta.  It was such a good little car, even though there was a spider in it once, but that's a story for another time.

Oh, and I'd like to be able to get propane for our tanks again so I can stop heating my electric as much and actually start cooking/baking again!  I kind of miss that!  I've lost track of how long it's been since we ran out.  Two years?  It can't be three can it?  I really don't know.  I do decent enough cooking by electric...a griddle, frying pan, slow cooker and the microwave.  If I want to use an oven for anything I have to either use my mother's, my mother-in-law's, or my one friend who is also a neighbor.

Every year is the same.  We take time to reflect on the past year, good or bad, and hope the new one holds better things.  This past year was pretty good for me, and I have no reason to doubt 2014 will be any different.  I know bad things will happen, they always do.  But they don't have to ruin a year!

What are your hopes for the New Year?

Looking Back to Move Forward

In every religion there is a grain of truth.  The Roman god Janus was often depicted as having two faces, one facing backwards and the other facing forward as he was the master of time.  January is named in his honor, which is fitting as it is the beginning of the New Year.  These next few days many will devote to setting resolutions, if they haven't already.  Many of which they will not keep.  It is a time for both beginnings and also endings.

Before I start looking forward to 2014, I want to take just a few paragraph's to look back at 2013.

The first half of the year, was pretty bland as I remember it.  I downloaded my novel from me email towards the end of April and was overtaken with the writing bug again.  It felt really good.  And all I did was read through the rough draft and decide that I like it, except I had to change the ending.

At the end of July, my partner of almost five years kind of sort of proposed to me.  We had an argument about marriage the weekend before my vacation from work and that next Monday he bought something on EBay...and of course since my birthday was approaching, I tried twisting his arm to get him to tell me what he'd bought me.  He said it wasn't anything for any of his vehicles, but that night he passed his phone to me and said, "Ok, go to my EBay app..."  He had bought wedding bands!  One of the few times in my life I was speechless.  Until I said, "Are you serious?"

Which he was.  And since he didn't care about when it was done, I had things arranged and by that weekend in August we were married.  Like I told a friend, "We've been together for almost five years...why piddle fart around?"  We did get some grief for marrying "so quickly" but I was happy with the day, and he was happy with the day and that's all that really mattered.  Neither one of us wanted a big church wedding.  Or any kind of big wedding.  We had a reception a few weeks later.  We actually had two receptions, one for our local family and one for our New York family.

And then in September, I made the impulsive decision to self-publish my novel through Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing.  A few weeks later I published to CreateSpace.  And afterwards realized I had no idea how to get the word out and market it, or myself.  Which is what led to this new blog.  And my emerging presence on Google+, Twitter, Pinterest...and yes, to some degree Facebook.  I had over a thousand free downloads on Kindle, and a handful of real purchases.  I've even sold a few paperbacks.  And released to Nook as well now.  It blows my minds a little to think that there are over a thousand people out there with my work in their hands...or on their Kindle which is pretty  much the same thing.  And that was a worldwide event!

And in November, I was able to go to New York City for the first time in my life.  That alone could have made the year!  Finally I was able to see the Statue of Liberty with my own eyes!  I got to look down from the top of the Empire States building!  I got to walk the streets that I see so often in CSI: NY!  I loved the sounds!  The traffic is everything they say it is, although I didn't drive in it.  The subways were pretty cool in my opinion, even when it was 5pm and crowded!  I loved the little bit of lights before we left.

December has been a month of winding down.  Much needed after the exciting few months we've had.  As much as one can wind down during the holidays!

Tomorrow, I will take a few paragraphs to 'look forward' and dream a little.  Because after all the good things that have happened in 2013, there is no telling what is going to happen in 2014!

The Day After

And the day after Christmas is very much a lazy blah day.  At least here in my home.  There is this feeling of..."Really?  It's over?  That's it?"  Unmet expectations coupled with too much rich food.  Although I will say my blood sugar was a nice 119 this morning, so I didn't overdo it too badly yesterday.

About 3 this afternoon I was hit with a wave of exhaustion and I tried laying down for a nap.  I don't think I got any sleep and I still feel absolutely drained.  And tomorrow it's back to work.

I have gotten nothing accomplished with my writing today, but sometimes we need to give our brain a rest.  Mine has certainly been on overdrive recently, especially during the REM part of sleep.  Of course, I'm at a hard spot in the story where I'm not sure how to word things so I might also be procrastinating just a bit.  But I'll get over it like always and find the right words and then it'll flow out of me like water onto dry land.

Hope everyone had a great holiday and let's get geared up for New Years!

Christmas is...

Christmas is family.  An expectant mother and father looking for a place to rest after a long journey.  All they had was each other.  They knew no one in Bethlehem or that's where they would have been staying.

Christmas is a time for gifts. The gift of a newborn child. For many He was the expected Messiah, come to rule the world.  But for Mary and Joseph that night...he was just their son. 

Christmas is a time for hope.  As Mary and Joseph held their new son, they had only the promises of the angels.  They didn't know what the future held, but they hoped for good things for their son like any parent does. 

We don't always get what we want for Christmas, but sometimes exactly what we need to keep our focus on the things that really matter.

You don't need to believe in the Christmas story to celebrate the meaning of the holiday.  There is truth in every story and I've given you some in this brief post before I head off to spend time with my family.

Enjoy your day no matter the reason for the season. 

Already Christmas!

While I was perusing Facebook not that long ago, I read a status from a friend who lives in New Zealand and I was struck with the warm fuzzies as I realized something: it's already Christmas in certain parts of the world!  Time differences are something I seldom think of, but with friends across the world, it does occur to me once in a while.

I can't really tell you why exactly it cheers me to know that it's already Christmas in places. but it does.  I've heard so many people comment recently that it just doesn't feel like Christmas to them, or they're just not in the Christmas spirit, etc.  I'm not sure what's up with that, but it's more than just one person.

Some people go through a depression this time of year, whether it is from missing lost loved ones or just the general hectic pace of the season.  My work ran the cow line extremely fast today in an effort to get us out early...nice, but hectic.  We did have almost a foot of snow last week, and we were all happy to see it because it meant we were going to have a white Christmas (We live in PA, USA).  BUT can you believe - temperatures last weekend were a record high for out area at 64 degrees Fahrenheit and it ALL melted!  So some of us, even myself who hates the snow, is feeling bummed because of that.  Although I must say that it is trying very hard to snow at the moment.

I know that it's a tight time for us financially right now, and that brings it's own slump.  The holidays are supposed to be a time for family and friends, but when you have nothing to give...it makes you feel sad.  As though our presence is somehow not enough.  We all know some people that will tell us otherwise and it can be hard to remember that it's not true.  Our presence at the dinner table tomorrow (or today) is what really matters.

Of course, not everyone has someone to celebrate the day with.  I hope they can find at least one person, one moment, to pause and just be happy with and be appreciative of each other.  I would miss my hubby if he weren't here to drive me crazy with his Halo Wars...it's become such a constant in my life.  I'll still complain, but deep down I know the truth.  (It would still be appreciated if he could be a little quieter...)  Maybe I'll get on later and play a game or two with him...so long as we're playing with Rabbitman!

Whether you are already celebrating Christmas, or getting ready to...make sure to give your loved ones a hug.  Or go out on a limb and hug a stranger - it might be the only Christmas present they get.

I need a sign off slogan...something catchy, cool and me.  Until I figure out what it should be: have a great day and a Merry Christmas!

The "Missing" Link

Here is the link for my book on Nook.  Presently I'm selling it for $2.50 there, US dollars.  Judging by some of the books I saw there, that's a fair price.

Truthfully, I hate putting a price on my novel.  It's just weird to me.  I mean, there will never be an amount that would accurately match the amount of hours I put into it...ever.  But I want the price to be attractive enough that people will want to buy it.

Because I like people reading my book.  It feels good when they say they like it.  Even my mother liked it..."enough".  I knew it wouldn't be met with rave reviews from her because of the smidgen of language in it, the f-bomb was dropped twice, and there was a little bit of sex in it.  Just a little.  My mother can be a bit of a Puritan sometimes, but to each their own, right?

I love hearing what people's favorite parts were.  One of my favorite scenes in the novel, is the "almost kiss" in the laundry room on Christmas day.  To come so close, and to be rudely interrupted.  Grandma Pearl meant well, but she obviously did not get the family memo stating that Craig and Angela were to be left alone!  In many ways, that moment marks Craig's first breaking point.  He decided at Thanksgiving that he wanted to see where his friendship with Angela would take them, so long as it was slow...but things begin to ramp up without his expectation.  On Christmas he also gets to see the depth of Angela's pain over her brother's death, and it once again puts his own in perspective.

Craig's pain is very real, and in no way does his opinion that Angela's pain is worse than his own pain mean that it actually is.  While it is true that there is always someone who has a worse situation than our own, that in no way diminishes the reality of what we feel and experience.  Many times it's just a matter of perspective.  Many times it's just knowing that we're not the only ones to feel pain and despair.  For so long, Craig only ever saw his own pain.  It consumed him.

But then he saw Angela's.  And knew that he wasn't alone.  While Angela's struggle with her guilt over her brother's death was far from a perfect Christian example (there is no such thing, but we often think there is), it is enough that it gives Craig hope.  Because Angela never stops fighting the despair that so often threatens to consume her; she often ran from it, denied it, but she never stopped fighting.

And I went on a lot longer than I intended!  That happens from time to time.

Hope everyone has had a good Monday!  Here's looking to more snow on Tuesday!

Craziness

It's a crazy time of year...and it's only Thanksgiving!

Saturday was the first of two family get-together's for me.  Traveled about an hour away from home, after working four hours.  We had to work Saturday because we have Thursday off for Thanksgiving, obviously, and then we will have Monday off as well since it is the first day of deer season here in PA and that is pretty much a holiday here.  We'll be working ten hours on Friday and then another ten on Tuesday to prevent having to work this Saturday.  I'll take that deal!

Tomorrow Mr. Janney and I will be headed to his parents' so that I can back my dish-to-pass (sweet potato yumyum) and then head to his grandparents for dinner.

This explains why my posting is not consistent this week for which I apologize.  I'll have a better plan in store for Christmas, which promises to be just as crazy and is now less than a month away.  And as usual we have done no Christmas shopping!

I have gotten very little new material written this week, which is a little frustrating but I will have to deal with it as I have no choice in the matter!  As my friend Jaime says at work, "Suck it up Buttercup!"

One thing I did get accomplished is putting up a title page for Farmer's Daughter in an attempt to have it made available as an audio book.  I want to make it as available as possible.

Which, a quick reminder, Farmer's Daughter is still on sale for Kindle.  Although the price is bumped up to $1.99 now, but it'll be there for two more days.  And 16 some hours according to the last countdown I just saw!  It'll hop back up to $2.99 after that.

I'll get this stuff figured out eventually!  In the meantime:

And Happy Hanukkah!!