Sunday, January 17, 2016

Just Start Writing - even if it's drivel

As blank as my mind...with fiery ideas
trying their hardest to get in...
Just start writing.

That's what I sit here telling myself.

I have a blog post started for my next turn over at Broads of a Feather, and it's coming along nicely enough.  But then I take a break waiting for a reply from my mother on details and so I switch to this blog to get a post up and started --- and my mind is as blank as the white field in the middle of the screen patiently waiting to be filled with words.

Surely I had an idea of something I wanted to post, but apparently I neglected to write it down or even remember it.  I already did a post, short and sweet, remembering Alan Rickman who died earlier this week.  I'm still bummed about it.  He was one of the actors I liked the most.

The day I learned of his death, I said something to my husband about feeling bummed. After I explained who Alan Rickman was, and I'm still not sure he's made the connection.  So he was not very sympathetic to my mood.  He said something like we can't live forever or everyone dies sometimes. To which I gave him a very flat look and said that didn't mean we couldn't feel sad when someone died,

Even if it's an actor we've never met.

I live in a world all my own really.  It's probably a mental illness that forms attachments to actors based on the roles they've played in my life...or my imagination. I mean, when I think of any fan fiction story I have, whether it's Star Wars or Star Trek...the actors are the images that come to mind. Naturally.

M*A*S*H and Hawkeye Pierce have helped me through more than one bought of depression and when Alan Alda dies...I'm gonna cry a river.  I've dreamt of all of them, mostly Trek.  Although I will say I had a particularly dramatic dream in which a young Alan Alda as Hawkeye held me while I cried...I'm not sure why I was crying, just that I needed a father figure and in the dream in that moment it gave me him.

In my head, they're my friends. Which I know makes me their dreaded enemy.  Even though I've stalked them all over the years to keep up on their careers and lives.  It's probably a good thing I didn't have the internet and Facebook when I was a teenager.  Oh the trouble I'd have gotten myself into!

I'm forever in love with this
It's all in good fun though.  I doubt I'd be able to form a coherent sentence if I were to meet any of them in person.  I mean, I stumble over my tongue often enough in normal everyday conversations!  I still have the screen shot from when Robert Downey Jr "liked" one of my comments on one of his posts.  Even though my husband was like, "How do you know it was really him?" Party pooper!  Not every moment needs to have cold harsh reality poured on it...sometimes just let the sun shine!  Besides, RDJ is reported to run his own page, so the odds are in my favor that it was really him!

I'm not sure that I've said anything at all important and relevant in this.  It's pretty much just wandering drivel written as I wrack my bent brain trying to come up with a blog post so I don't lose connection with any of my readers.  I think I'm gonna run with it and post it though, slap a picture in to make it look good.

Besides, my cake is done baking and it smells really good.