Friday, February 9, 2018

About That Pic

So, I'm trying to get back into blogging and I've begun posting the  "Wordless Wednesday" posts again. I thought I'd give you the story behind the picture. Lind of defeats the purpose of 'wordless' ...but I don't care! Imma gonna be a rebel!
Here it is again, so you don't have to go back and look.
It is, obviously, a pie. A cherry pie to be precise.
I think it was last weekend, I was making dinner when Mr. Janney comes out to rummage for snacks. He notices the cherry pie filling in the pantry and asks if we had all the making for a pie.
Welllllllll....the pie crust that I had into the fridge is really really old and needs to be thrown out. I told him I'd have to go out and buy new crust because I didn't want to bother with trying to experiment with gluten free crust recipes. Especially since I was having trouble with my gluten free  macaroni and cheese in the oven. He said it was no big deal, he'd just seen the pie filling and thought a pie sounded good.
Man, no pressure there! I hemmed and hawed about it for the rest of dinner preparations. Last weekend the depression was pretty rough. I didn't want to do anything. But, I like cooking for my husband. So after the mac and cheese was done and I'd eaten some, to took myself out to the nearby Tops and bought a pre-made pie crust. I may or may not have bought other things I shouldn't have that fall into the category of 'chocolate' and 'not good for me'.
So, goodies bought, I came home and put the pie together. I even put a romantic heart design in the top crust. Ironically, the picture I took to share with the Facebook cooking group I belong to, is the only time Mr. Janney saw the heart! I never had him look at it before I cut into it!
At any rate, he enjoyed the pie.
I hope you've enjoyed my silly little story. Until next time, goodbye.

Saturday, February 3, 2018

A New Year

Well, here we are a whole month into 2018.

It's been a bit of  rough start to the new year for me and mine. My brain is still having some trouble processing it, which honestly might explain the headaches I've been having for over a week now.

My one uncle started it by having a heart attack. Not his first, nor his worst, so it was not too much of a concern.

But then my father-in-law thought he might be having a heart attack and went to the ER. Thankfully it was not a heart attack, although they haven't really given him a diagnosis or explanation as to what he experienced.

The day Mom had an ultrasound on the spot
Followed by my mother having a biopsy on a tiny spot that her mammogram picked up. None of us were surprised with the diagnosis. I think we were almost expecting it. After all, her mother had breast cancer. Her sister has breast cancer. Grandma had it a long time ago, and ended up dying from the disease, long before I was even a twinkle in my father's eye. My aunt has endured it twice, losing both breasts.

Mom has a really good prognosis. The spot is so tiny, that it's considered Stage 0 cancer. And it's non-invasive which is also good news. At this point, she's due to have a 'simple' lumpectomy at Valentine's day. She won't even need chemotherapy.  She did have blood drawn for genetic testing. Her sister's came back negative, which doesn't seem accurate since the cancer reoccurred, so there's a chance that mom's also come back as negative. I'm suspicious about it though, because mom got the rogue gene for diabetes when none in her family has it, but then I do tend to be rather cynical.

That still hasn't stopped the diagnosis from doing a number on my emotions. Depression and anxiety have been tap dancing in my head ever since. I have struggled with every day life since. It took me several hours before my thoughts turned to myself. Technically, the odds of me someday being diagnosed with breast cancer haven't genes are still the same as they were. But my awareness of them has, even though I haven't talked to a doctor about what my 'new' odds are. I try not to obsess over it. No doubt it's part of a mental illness, part of the depression, part of the obsessive anxiety. Some people don't understand, and I envy them their freedom.

The month ended with my husband losing his job. Even though he pretty much had my permission (not that he would have tried to keep it if I hadn't been approving) and we have a plan I'm confident about, it's added stress I wasn't looking for. Especially since I still have to go there myself. Unless they decide to fire me before my FMLA can be approved. No one has said a negative word about my husband losing his job, not within my hearing anyway. I shouldn't worry about it, but I remember the crap I had to endure after the winter accident that cost him a job at the last workplace we shared. People are stupid heartless bitches sometimes. I'm pretty sure I've been looking like a fire breathing dragon recently though, so maybe people are afraid to talk to me. My headache alone is enough to cause that. O_o

Headache wise, today hasn't been too bad. A bit of a nagging headache, thankfully not the raging one. The raging one makes it so hard to think. And I need to be able to think. Especially at work, where I operate a machine. It's not hard, but I do need to pay attention once in a while.

I worry too much. I know this. As I told my one co-worker who was trying to encourage me one night, that's also a gene I inherited from my mother.I just hope my grey hair ends up looking as pretty as her's and her sister's.

There's more, of course. There's always more. But I don't want to be too much of a downer as I do some internet venting.

Well, all my alarms just went off. Time to go take my thyroid meds. I'll try to get back here more often. Take care everyone.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Helping Virgil

Everyone goes through rough times. Mr. Janney and I have been there done that, and no doubt we'll have our fair share more often than we care during the course of our lives.
Virgil, AKA Gandalf the Grey

A couple of months ago, one of our coworkers, Virgil, began to have a series of unfortunate events that set him back. First, the guy was suspended from work for three days...I'll be honest, I don't know all the details, just that it was what I call 'coworker drama'. Whatever the reason, Corporate decided to end the suspension and bring him back, whether an exoneration or a second chance I'm not sure, although since the claims against him were regarding physical violence, my money would be on exoneration...especially since our company has a zero tolerance for that kind of stuff. I also believe that because he was eventually paid for the days he missed. They don't do that if you're guilty, they don't bring you back either.

So Virgil came back to work, much to some people's surprise.  But he settled back in, drama evened out for the time being. And then his car broke. Specifically one of the back struts, which also damaged the tire. The car was not drivable, leaving him with no way to get back and forth to work on his own. He was able to get a ride into work most days, but no one other than my husband was willing to take him home - even though Virgil lives in the opposite direction from us. A gentleman, and I use that term loosely, who lives 3 away from Virgil, not only didn't offer...he all but refused to give him a ride home. His wife says that is just how he is with everyone...that's a whole other story I don't even want to get into!

Now, I know first hand that Virgil can be difficult to work with. But once I realized that he just wants the job to be done correctly, and for the rules to be followed (like employee rotation), it was a lot easier to work with him. Yes, he tends to be repetitive...but he is an older guy and I just chalked it up to that. But when he came back from his most recent absence, due to a breathing attack, with a life changing diagnosis, I wonder if his mental confusion isn't medical in nature.

I'm going to be honest, I was first told he was diagnosed with stage 3 cirrhosis...but then he later said Hepatitis I'm not sure which one it is at this moment. I plan on finding out when I see him tomorrow. Both affect the liver. Hep C is more treatable than cirrhosis, so I'm hoping he has that instead. Cirrhosis carries a much bleaker prognosis.

Either way, with everything else going on the past couple of months, including reduced work hours (which can happen this time of year) he doesn't have a whole lot to spare for medical bills. So I started a GoFundMe drive for him. I just want to be able to give him a bit of money for the holidays to help him and to just encourage him. Because he's just been so discouraged with everything that has been happening to him.

From the stories he tells on the ride home, he's had a bit of a rough life. He's seen a few things that I've only ever seen on television or in the movies. He's a hard worker, only absent when ill, tells interesting stories and has a good heart. He was always so worried about me or Mr. Janney driving back home after dropping him off...a lot of white tailed deer country and we always saw more than a few on those drives. The night before Thanksgiving, he took home a couple rejected cabinet doors and I asked him what he was going to do with them. He told me how he was going to create a mountain scene in the center of one with wood burning and turn it into a memorial plaque for a friend who'd lost his father. I have no reason to believe that he didn't do just that. I mean, he's a single guy living on his own except for a cute rescue dog with time to do whatever he wants with time on his hands.

Everyone deserves a helping hand from time to time. I know the few dollars I collect for Virgil won't solve any of his problems, but they just might make the burden lighter. Please, if you have a few dollars to spare, help me Help Virgil.