Indie Woes

Hi All!

I've been working on making my first two novels available in hardcover through Amazon. I only just realized this was possible a few weeks ago. And let me tell you, it isn't a simple matter of just uploading the same file I used for the paperback and E-version. No, of course not! That file has too many pages for the size I'd chosen - imagine that.

So I chose the next size up, found a pre-formatted word file for that size and did a Copy/Paste from the current file to the new one. Annnnnd that simple change messed up the formatting. So I've been proofing and fixing The Farmer's Daughter for the past few days. One little change leads to another.

And another reason why I hate proofing and formatting is I get caught up in the story. Even though I've read through it a bazillion times, I'll see the words and go 'oh, I love this part...' I lose more time that way than any other.

But I have managed to finish the file for Farmer's. I have Amazon working on a physical proof copy for me even though I ALSO need a newer file for the book cover, I have the order put in for that as well but for the time being I have a temporary cover cobbled together through Amazon's 'Create a Cover' program.

I don't know that a hardcover version is actually needed, but the last three books I've managed to buy recently have been hardcover so I know there's still some kind of market for them even though they're more expensive. I love the convenience of Ebooks, but I also love the feel of either a hardcover or paperback in my hand.

I know, I know. I should be focusing on the 3rd book in the series. I swear though, my husband has some kind of radar that detects when I'm trying to work on anything related to my writing and for some reason he thinks that's a good time to need me to do something else. And it's never anything FUN. Never anything ROMANTIC. Always something else.

Like, 'have you researched health insurance yet?' or 'have you ordered a new camera for the security system?' He has NO idea that these are not simple tasks. Ugh. I know we need to so something for health insurance. The crap we have through work is NOT good. I just dropped over $200 at the drug store the other day, for 4 prescriptions. And I have more than 4 total prescriptions (I'm a hot mess, remember?)

At any rate, I'll be switching to The Ring of Fire files so I can do the same for it. Since Bigger than the Beetles is still 'not quite done' hopefully that won't be quite as frustrating.

Keeping it short and sweet for now.

Until next time, stay safe peeps.

Robin Janney

A Year In Review - Part 1

Snug as a bug

A year ago I posted a poem expressing my depression and then I ghosted my blog. It's not the first time and it probably won't be the last time. Life is unpredictable.

Also just over a year ago I started medication for my depression. It seems to help. I'm not always jubilant, but neither am I experiencing as frequent 'end of the world' lows. That alone is worth it.

According to my pictures, just over a year ago Mr. Janney and I were in southern California. Our truck was in the shop because the city horn wasn't working, something we need to be considered legal. We spent a few days in a pet-friendly hotel. When word came that the truck was done, we checked out and returned to the terminal...only to discover that the shop never actually fixed the horn. So it was back to the terminal. We were there just one more night.

To get more active on my blog, I'm going to chose a picture or two from the past months and go from there. This posts first picture up above is my beloved dog Jaclyn, snuggled up on the hotel bed with me last November.

The second photo to the right is the view outside our hotel window. Well, I took it standing outside on the walkway, but it's all the same thing really.

Last year, we spent Thanksgiving out on the road. I'm not sure which state we had our turkey dinner at, because there aren't any pictures in Photos.

We came home for Thanksgiving this year, even though we didn't go anywhere or have anyone over. I fixed us a ham dinner that will probably be feeding us for the rest of our home time. I guess there's nothing wrong with that, it'll save me a lot of cooking the next few days!

I have my novel The Farmer's Daughter for Kindle on a countdown sale all this weekend. Catch it while you can!

I'm almost ready to re-release the second in the series. I'd like to hold out long enough to update the cover, but I might have to wait until later to do that. I'll keep you all updated.

Book three is nearing completion, just not fast enough.

To not overwhelm myself, I'm going to commit to posting every other week. So, see you then!

What's the Deal with the Daisies?

Symbolism can be a tricky thing sometimes.

Today I was asked whether the daisies in my stories represent love and fertility. To which I replied, 'no, childhood innocence'.

And then I googled it to make sure I knew what I was talking about! And learned we were both correct. The Anglo-Saxon symbolism, in a nutshell, is innocence and gentleness. In Norse mythology, they do indeed represent love, sensuality, and fertility.

Given how much the theme of childhood innocence runs in my novels, I think it's safe to say my intended symbolism is far more Anglo-Saxon than Norse. They are one of the flowers many country children pick for their mother's, probably next to dandelions and cornflowers. I didn't google that particular stat, because I'm just going by what my siblings and I gathered for our mother as children (although I'm fairly certain we used to pick her daffodils too)

They are associated almost solely with my female lead. They are the flowers Angela was picking for her mother to atone for fighting with her brother on the day he died, almost before her eyes. He didn't actually pass away until after he was in the ambulance and had been assured his sister was unharmed, but it is a fact Angela never learns and so lives believing she witnessed his death. It is the first step of her loss of innocence.

It was in a field of daisies Angela played in as a four-year-old when she was technically dead. When she met the Christ of my series. A gentle and kind man who played tag with her, let her crown him with a daisy chain, who spoke to her like she mattered -- kind of like how I always thought Mr. Rogers was talking to me as a child watching Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.

Daisies are the flowers Craig gives her while she is still in the hospital recovering from pneumonia. Upon seeing all the flowers others had already sent her, he felt guilty for not thinking of giving her flowers himself. So he asks her what her favorite flower is. And vows to keep in her fresh supply for the rest of her life, in part to make up for his awkwardness at the beginning of their relationship.

And it was again a field of daisies she was in as a new bride when Angela was in a coma after being abducted from in front of what was to be her new home with her husband. When Christ helps Angela come to the decision to return to the mortal realm, she asks him how to get back. He leads her to the edge of her 'reality', where the field of daisies blends into and is swallowed up by the desert of Craig's Dragon Dream. The lonely barren land where the Dragon hunts him and the only solace is the oasis that is Angela. At this point, Angela doesn't understand all this at this point...just knows that the barren desert is where she needs to go to be reunited with her love. So she willingly gives up the innocence of the field of daisies.

Driven home by the breaking of the vase of daises when her father slams the truck to a stop (in the middle of the infamous Simmons Crossroads). Confused by the world she returned to, Angela requests to be taken back to her family's farm to begin her recovery. And her father unthinkingly takes her home via the Crossroads, as it is the quickest route. It is close to the spot where the accident claiming her brother's life took place, as well as the crashing of the van carrying Angela...given that her heart stopped before they had her loaded in the ambulance, she did indeed die in this intersection. So, when her father takes this route - it triggers a violent flashback of the event in Angela. He doesn't notice right away, but when he does, he slams on the brakes and the vase of daisies fall and break.

Unlike my male lead, Craig, who lost his innocence pretty much all at once, Angela loses hers in stages. Some we learn about in The Farmer's Daughter (starting with the cold manner she learns she's adopted, to her brother's death) While other events are not so clear...for example - what happened at her senior prom? Because she definitely gives off mixed messages about it. Was her ex the one tormenting her in her apartment by moving things around? Who was watching her through the windows?

Those things aren't wrapped up neatly by the end of The Farmer's Daughter or even Ring of Fire...although we see more of her movement away from the innocent to the...not so innocent by the end of Ring of Fire. Which is probably why none of the daisies are in pristine condition in the pictures I take for possible book covers...life/nature is hard on innocence...with the exception of the three on the banner picture above.

I don't want to give away too many series secrets, so I'd better wrap this up!

Hopefully, The Farmer's Daughter will be ready for re-release soon. {Keeps fingers crossed}

Much love to all.

To ReRead or not to ReRead

So yeah, looked at least weeks posts and I think I've recentered myself.

How I keep track of the timeline while I write...

I suppose technically if you are one of the people who has read the first version of The Farmer's Daughter, you probably wouldn't have to reread the second version when I re-release it. The overall plot is still the same. Boy meets girl...they fight their feelings for each other...love wins the day.

However - I would highly recommend it. I'm not sure how to replace the kindle version to get you a new copy of the novel, but if you own a paperback I will send you a new copy free of charge. Just get in contact with me with on Facebook or the email listed here on the blog. (Over to the right) You don't have to wait for the re-release to let me know, feel free to send me your info now so I can have it all planned out.

Some of the changes I made, while 'small' are significant. And the one change at the end is not small and will no doubt continue to give me fits as I work my magic on the sequel. The end result will be worth it. I hope that's not just my wishful thinking and that my faithful readers will agree with me!

I will look into the Kindle e-version part of it, and if I've found any answers before this posts on Friday, I will insert that paragraph here. If you're reading these words, then I haven't found the answer yet! Edit: I will have to ask Amazon to send those with a Kindle Version an update notifying them that there is a new version. They may or may not approve my request and it's not something I can do until I do the re-release. Will keep you updated as I go.

One of the continuance problems I've run into in my novels...is the moon phase. And I only just now noticed that if I've printed off the calendars shown in the picture to the left, I don't have to google what the moon phase was back in the novel's time period because...it's right on the bottom of the calendar!!. I am too funny sometimes!

If you've never read The Farmer's Daughter, I hope you'll decide to buy it when I re-release it. I think it's a worthy entertaining novel.

Until next time, have a great weekend!

Much love!

Part 3 - Why the Changes?

Why did I change names, (Sara to Maeve, Jannie to Jeannie), personalities (Maude and her mother Pearl have been reversed a bit, Philip's protectiveness of his daughter is more prevalent) and either change or speed up plot points?

Sheesh, where to begin?

I have hated naming my characters ever since the first release of Farmer's Daughter because I was asked if I had used so many family names on purpose. Uhg, no. While I put more thought into some names than others - Angela's names are all symbolic of who she is and what she represents to Craig...including the Hebraic etymology of Carman, although that's something I only just found out (talk about a collective consciousness)...and her name change from Carman to Moore is just as symbolic.

I specifically chose Craig because of the etymology of the name (it means Rock) and not because I have a cousin Craig. I was probably choosing family names, even though I was nearly estranged from my family at the conception of the story and it's early germination because they're names I'm comfortable with. My character Craig certainly doesn't look like my cousin in my head! If you know me well enough, you know exactly who my mind has already cast for his role in my imaginary movie lol

The role of one of Angela's childhood mentors was originally named Sara...If I remember correctly, I struggled a little with it even in the beginning because I have a sister of the same name. I can't even tell you my original motivation for choosing the name aside from the fact I was probably trying to stick with a biblical theme as it was originally meant to be 'Christian fiction'. And I'm stubborn and don't want to admit when I'm wrong. I left the mentor of Irish descent, even though it doesn't fit with the traditional idea of a karate sensei...because I know for a fact it's something which crosses cultural lines. But the name didn't fit with the ancestry, especially if she was Irish enough to have a faded accent. So I cast about on the internet and rechristened her Maeve...more to do with the brief Criminal Minds' character than the etymology of the name.

I renamed Angela's birthmother Janine in nickname only. Jannie felt clunky to me, so I added an E and Jeannie flows off the tongue a whole lot easier. Same with a minor side character never seen and only mentioned...Rena to Trina.

Ah, personality changes. Probably the most notable was the switch between Angela's mother and grandmother. I reread the story and realized it didn't make sense for the grandmother to be more accepting of Angela than her mother was, especially if part of the reason was Maude's own desire for her mother's approval. So I had to make Grandma Pearl, who though she is loved, is a bit judgier than she had been previously. Maude still falls on the judgy side because of this, and because she feels her own early life choices were a mistake (because her mom said so) and doesn't want her own daughter following down the same path...even though for Maude it is the path which led her to her husband Philip...so she's got a bit of her own complex going on too. Don't we all?

Another minor personality change was in the character Kevin. Craig's college roommate and closest friend - he is also a medical doctor specializing in psychiatry (because I'm an armchair psychiatrist lol) who has been aware of his friend's issues the entire time - although he didn't learn of his friend's abuse until their sophomore year and Craig was refusing to sleep after returning from spending spring break at his father's home. There is NO WAY he'd have let Craig continue avoiding his issues as long as he did in the original manuscript...especially after making the two-hour trip to remove a gun from Craig's home to make contemplating suicide harder for him. Kevin's own sister suicided when they were teens, and this event would have scared him even more than Craig's post-spring-break behavior.

I failed to follow through on some of the foreshadowings in Craig's Dragon Dream, so I had to tweak the ending. It wasn't an easy decision, but the more I considered what I had already written, it was already there and I just had to follow through with it. It made Angela's reticence to go home with her husband after waking up from her coma much more believable and understandable. Also, I failed to deliver on the harassment Angela went through prior to the kidnapping...so I gave the phone calls more descriptions...which in some cases called for changes in the scene around them. I also added mentions of items in her apartment being out of place, of it not feeling right to her. I don't focus on it, because at this point in her relationship with her ex-boyfriend, she's accepted the harassment as normal even though it scares her.

Let's be honest, there is a certain level of harassment women take for granted on a daily basis anyway.

But anyways.

Some scenes I simply told from a different person's perspective. The deli manager Becky, or the state trooper Erica. Because I also failed to show the small imaginary town of Tyler's Grove rallying around the budding romance like I said in the book's back cover synopsis.  Not everyone supports them, but enough to make an impact on Craig...who even though he's lived there for a decade, doesn't feel like he belongs. Minor issues, easily fixed.

It feels like the story has a smoother flow now, and even though it's long (lover of epic stories), I don't think it has the drag I felt from my read through. Granted my perspective is different, but I think my readers will end up agreeing with me. I hope so anyway!

Much love!

Who is the Farmer's Daughter, pt 2

One thing I grazed over in my last post is how I changed the name of the series from The Country Music series...but not the book titles. Because as I explained, the storylines aren't the same.

In my novel, the plot revolves around a farmer's daughter and what amounts to an identity crisis. While her love interest Craig is struggling with his sexual identity, Angela Carman is struggling with her identity as a person. She starts out confident enough, knowing exactly who she is...even though she struggles to meet others expectations of her...hence the struggle.

When Angela was four, she almost choked to death on a piece of hot dog her father hadn't cut up enough and had a near-death experience. Complete with Jesus and what looked like heaven to her four-year-old mind.

That vision never left her. Not even during the years which she ran wild after the death of her older brother. Anger and despair became constant companions, and she acted out accordingly. She was too young for what she witnessed and didn't know how to get the help she needed in order to process it. I mean, there is no good age to witness someone being run over by a car.

But during the summer of her seventeenth year, she grew tired of her own behavior. In large part due to the local vet allowing her to help take care of the animals kept at the vet clinic, and the tutelage of her karate instructor who often allowed Angela to take her anger out with her on the mat. Even though she didn't feel like she really needed to, Angela wanted to make changes so she recommitted her life to Christ even though as she tells Craig - I recommitted my life to Christ. It didn’t fix everything, didn’t fix anything really. I never really felt I had strayed from Him, but I wanted to remind myself I guess. My vision from when I was four never went away. I started changing things, dressing more conservatively, not swearing, not dating bad boys. It didn’t change what a lot of people thought of me. Even my own sister thinks I’m a slut, my mom too. But as I was trying to be different, trying to make my mom happy.

Angela was never able to see her parents love for her, specifically her mother's, because she knew she wasn't their biological child. She never confronted them about it, otherwise, she would have learned it was a legal adoption and not the theft she thought it was. She craved their love and approval.

By novel's end, Angela no longer knows who she is. I'm not going to spoil it for you, aside from saying she decides to identify with the farmer who raised her, who eased her panic attacks even if he was injured in the process, who fished her out of the pond when she tried killing herself.

The romantic love story between Craig and Angela is not the only love story I'm telling. I myself will never know what it is to love a child of my own, but as a daughter myself, I know the struggle between parent and child is real. I know what it is like to wonder if I am loved and accepted for who I am, even if that person isn't what they necessarily had in mind.

I'll be honest, fear of my mother's disapproval over my writing has always been my biggest hangup and depression aside, has probably been the biggest cause of the writer's block I've struggled with between books 2 and 3. I need to go someplace dark in my novels, and I can't if I'm afraid my mom is going to scold me for using the F-bomb.

Which, shows up a few more times in The Farmer's Daughter than what it had previously. Because it's the appropriate word for the character to use at the time.

I love my Mom, but she may not want to read any of my books after today because I'm writing the story as it needs to be written. Life is not pretty. People swear, people hate, people do terrible things to each other regardless of how they feel about each other...and sometimes recovery from said terrible things isn't pretty.

I may  be writing a romantic fantasy to illustrate the healing power of love, but I am by no means writing a fairy tale.

Much love to all. 

Hitting the Redo Button and Starting Over

A few days ago, I posted this picture on my Instagram feed. Part showing off my pretty blue fingernails and part teasing people as I show where I'm at in the process of retyping Farmer's Daughter.

And then one of my followers there (thank you James!) asked me what I was reading and I was struck by the revelation that I talk and write and post with too many assumptions.

Not everyone knows I'm an independent author who has published two books. So I thought I'd take a few moments and introduce myself.

Hi. I'm Robin.

I'm an Indie Author.

In 2013 I hit publish for my first novel through Amazon KDP. A few years later, I hit publish for the 2nd novel.

I did NOT know what I was doing. I should have been blogging and tweeting and building a fan base before I ever hit that button.

I can't undo that. But in a way, I AM hitting the REDO button. I took my two books off the market for valid reasons...I missed too many continuity mistakes. So while I'm fixing those blunders, I'm also going to fix the social media marketing thing.

I'm going to do a few more posts about my books subject matter. If you've already read version one, please bear with me and share my posts so others can be brought into a universe you already love.

I've also been Twittering more. It's a decent place for me to go when I need a break from the intensity of what I'm writing. Some of my characters struggles are very real to me and I've written a few anxiety attack scene which honestly has triggered my own. More about that another day. Twitter also lets me see what some of my favorite writers and actors are up to...I've had two tweets liked by verified accounts just recently!! Nothing cheers this fangirl up more!!

Dude, Dax Shephard...like, seriously!
If you don't know who he is, you're missing out! lol

Thanks to a wonderful woman Glitter on Instagram who has started posting her vids there, I've decided to give that a try too. I absolutely love her. Probably because she's daring enough to be herself in a world which kinda looks down on overweight people enjoying life. I haven't figured out how to share a link for my YouTube channel, but maybe I'll have it figured out by Monday when I'm scheduling this to be posted. All of my other links for my social media accounts are Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Tumblr.

Wish me luck as I hit REDO and plow on ahead!

Much love!

What Do You Write?

I was asked this question today, and the simple answer is Romance. But I'm not certain my novels are strictly Romance.

Because there is some mystery thrown in, some supernatural activity which gives a lead into the fantasy element...One of my characters is a demon named Beast who operates to foil the characters romance in an effort to change the power structure of his little kingdom.

There is also the quasi-character of the Dragon Queen...in The Farmer's Daughter, she is the dream representation of one of the main character's abusers. How this character changes in the dream is indicative of how Craig perception of her crime changes, giving her less and less power over him and his life. Does he forgive her? Not necessarily. But he no longer lets her actions rule him.

We see more of the Dragon Queen's real-life persona in the sequel, Ring of Fire, and we realize there's more to the Dragon Queen than just Craig's imagination. Because it's hinted at, that the Dragon Queen has started entering Angela's dream as well...and that the physical realm and the dream realm are connected, as seen in the thunderstorms at the novel's end.

And some of that is the influence of my own love of fantasy novels. Although I once got rid of some of my books because I thought they were somehow sinful, I have since changed my mind...not only do I own the complete Harry Potter series (thanks to my mother-in-law) but I also rebought and completed my collection of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series. Including the prequel novel. As well as Tad William's Memory Sorrow and Thorn series. And the Mistborn trilogy by Brandon Sanderson. You get the idea :)

The one element missing from my novels would be science fiction. Maybe if you stretched it,  considered the demons as aliens and the dream realm a different dimension. Maybe possibly. Maybe someday I'll try a science fiction story...I'd love to have a Star Trek novel someday...I'd say Star Wars, but I hung that dream up years ago. I do have a novel series to write someday set in a fantasy world, complete with demons, based around triplet royals (2 princesses and a prince)....two sets really, but that's for later.

I have enough fuel for at least four books dealing with Craig and Angela and their families. I have a spark of an idea for a fifth novel, but that doesn't have a green light yet. I am about 2/3's of the way through retyping The Farmer's Daughter, and once that is done I am going to read through RIng to see what will need to be fixed there. There has been at least one name change for a character and it's possible another character will get a name change.

Some of the religious content is being edited/deleted/restructured as well. Not the spiritual aspects, don't be confused by that like I obviously was when I originally wrote the story. And it is far from being theologically correct. I am taking vast creative liberties with the spiritual realm - we will meet both Lucifer and Jesus and Legion before the series end as well. One of the liberties I've taken with some of these characters is giving them different names. Many of them no longer go by their 'given names' choosing to be known by the names humans have given them instead. This is why it's called fiction.

I have cut some chapters which I felt was slowing the pace, which in turn has led to new scenes...because some of the cut chapters still happen, but I'm changing how I let the reader learn about them. So once this is done...I'm going to have to treat those sections as a rough draft again. Some scenes have been restructured so we're only seeing through one character's point of view instead of everyone in the scene...I may have to go through that again, see if the few blended scenes still work. I'm also changing some of the formattings...there will no longer be a ~ separating scenes. Rather, just using space and a font change.

The more complicated answer to the question directed at me today would have to be Extreme Romance. If that's not a genre, it should be. My definition of Extreme Romance would be to reference the 2002 Spider-Man movie...specifically, the Bridge Battle scene where Hob Goblin forces Spidey to chose between his beloved MJ and a tram full of kids, forces him to chose the kind of hero - the kind of person - he wants to be. I'll include the clip so you can experience it.

If that's not Extreme Romance, I don't know what is!

Happy reading peeps!