The Latest Update

Finally able to buzz my hair!

I think one of the hardest things about writing blog posts is coming up with a good enough title. I'd rather title a poem or a book. Those are almost easier...a few words to sum up a whole novel or poem theme. Blog titles need to be catchy and there's nothing catchy about 'The Latest Update' but that's exactly what this is!

So, I made it through orientation. My blood sugar behaved well enough to be passable that first day for the physical. I'm not sure why it hopped up from 105 to 170 after breakfast, especially since all I had was coffee and cheesy eggs...AND I even remembered to take my meds that morning! I don't know, but I've had much better readings than what I had during the first part of the month, so the changes I've made are working and I need to keep with them.

They are letting me try again even though my A1C (the 3 month average test) was on the too high side - up to an 8.5!! And they're giving me 3 months to bring it down to 7.9 or better. If I keep eating the way I am - low carb - and do my best to stay active even during training (which may prove difficult, but we'll see), bringing that number down will be the easy part. KEEPING it that way will be the harder part.

Especially since Mr. Janney doesn't have the same dietary restrictions I do. It's very hard to watch him eat something like mashed potatoes when it's something I should stay away from. He is very supportive though and I know that once we're in our own rig as a team, things will be a tad easier.

Speaking of which, it's to the right. I have ridden in it, and it's a smooth enough ride even though Mr. Janney is far from impressed with it. But it is new and still needs to be broken in so maybe it'll get better.

Mr. Janney was in the general neighborhood when I began my orientation this week and he was able to get a load even closer so he could take a few days to visit with me. It was so nice! The last we'd seen each other was on Valentine's weekend when I drove out to Michigan to visit him while his trainer was on vacation. We were only able to get a room one night, so the other night we had to sleep in his rig if we wanted to be together. That was fun, since the bed is technically only meant for one person, but we managed.

So here I sit in the hotel room, waiting for a trainer to become available. I have to report in to the terminal every morning during the week until I'm assigned a trainer and can take off with them. If I stick with my desire to have a female trainer, I may be here for a while. It's not an easy decision to make, because I'm going to feel weird even with a female so I can't imagine how awkward it would be with a male. Especially if whichever trainer I end up with sticks me in the top bunk, as is their right. I climbed up into the top bunks of 'our' rig, just to see if I could do it. It's not pretty, just like my 90 degree backing maneuver, but I can do it.

I get paid either way, so there's that much. I either take walks on the treadmill, or around the hotel building. There is a shuttle van available, between here and the terminal and other places like Walmart and the laundromat (tomorrow's agenda). I spent most of yesterday trying to fix my smartphone. Not sure what changed all of a sudden, but I was getting pop ads outside of apps. Not cool. I can't be having that happen when I'm out on the road because the phone is needed to do the job. I tried restarting the phone, deleting apps, restarting again. Then I decided to do a factory reset, and things were okay for a while...but then they started happening again.

So when one was playing, I saw an Info button and I hit it to see what I'd get. One of the options was 'Why am I seeing this ad?' DO TELL! So yeah, the answer was - "Facebook". Really? So I disabled the app on my phone...the closest I could get to uninstalling it. And haven't had an ad pop up since.

Doing what I do best - waiting!

Look Facebook, I have no problems with ads when I'm on Facebook. But as soon as I close that app - the ads should stop!! I can't be having random videos playing telling me I'll lose my reward if I shut it down while I'm trying to do business and math, because dammit - math is hard enough!

Rant over. I'll probably finish my even either by working on book three or reading or binge watching 'Blue Bloods'...or, knowing me, all three. With the A/C on because it was in the 70's today and my room is still a little warm! My roommate already got her trainer, so I have the room to myself, for the time being. It'll probably change tomorrow or as soon as another female employee gets a trainer.

Stay safe everyone! I'll do my best to check in once in a while.

Adventures in Sleep Apnea

As many of you know, I've been working on getting my Commercial Driver's License. Mr. Janney has already obtained his and starts his new job on Monday. Because I've had difficulties passing my road test, I had to file for an extension. Minor technicalities.

One requirement to even get a CDL permit, is a DOT physical. Because I met enough requirements for sleep apnea, I had/have six months to get tested and if diagnosed with it to get treatment. Once I got our medical coverage reinstated, I was able to get tested fairly quickly. The diagnosis was positive, I have 'mild sleep apnea'. My mother asked if that was like being 'borderline diabetic' to which I answered, 'probably'.

Many of the symptoms I live with could be attributed to my underactive thyroid. But since the sleep study said I have it, if I want to get my CDL then I had to get a C-PAP machine and use it at leat 70% of the time. So, once again, after I got my medical assistance straightened out, I had the new machine pretty quickly. I picked it up yesterday afternoon and began using it last night.

It's going to take some getting used to. It wasn't so much the air being pushed into my nose, but the mask itself. It just felt - funny. I'll give it a few more nights to see if it's something I can get used to or if I need to change masks. Mr. Janney wanted to know how I'd slept...'ok, I guess. I still woke up a few times.  I dreamt a lot...' He just laughed at that. And then laughed harder as I described some of the weirdness I'd dreamt.

sounds a bit Darth Vader-ish

He said he woke up once himself and couldn't get back to sleep because of the noise of either the machine or my breathing. The few times I woke up, it felt like my nose had slipped out of where it was supposed to be because I had air blowing straight up in my eyes.  So tonight when I go to put my astronaut mask on, I'll see if the straps needs tweaking. Like hubby reminded me, I don't want to get it too tight because that'll make the nose bone hurt and who wants that to happen??

The kind lady at Med Depot who set me up with everything, looked at my face to determine mask size - and tilted her head and said, "Everything's perfect." No one has ever looked at my face and said that before! It was a bit of an ego boost, even though it's just for a face mask fitting.

I'm only going to post this here, because my co-blogger on Broads was able to post over there again. If she continues, I will strive to make separate blog posts again. Until I can pass my road test and I head out on the road too...but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

I'm signing off now, because I'm thirsty and need to get back to my edits. Everyone have a great day!

Sweet Delights

Since my surgery and being on medical leave, I've been feeling better and I've been picking up some old hobbies. Like reading. Like blogging. Like trying out different recipes I find online. I have even written a poem or two. I've started rereading my first novel...much to my dismay the number of typos I missed grieves me, along with a couple of continuity errors. Trying to get back into being the me that got lost in depression and exhaustion.

Every time Mr. Janney and I start going through things, trying to organize, we've never agreed on what to do with my cake decorating supplies. I have pans up to you know where! I've always argued that we should just get rid of them because I just don't see myself getting back into it. He was always like, 'you never know.' Well, he turned out to be right. Because the decorating bug hit me right around his birthday.

Years ago, our local Ames (a discount store that is no longer in business) offered Wilton cake decorating classes. Yours truly took all three courses. I made quite a few decorated cakes back then. I did one of my younger brother's graduation cake. I did two wedding cakes. A couple little ones for church functions.

The cake I did for Mr. Janney's birthday was very plain. I didn't have quite enough confectionery sugar for the amount of cake I had. It was still tasty though. I am not going to share that picture here, but I will share a cake I made a while after we'd finished that one. I'm not sure how long after his cake was gone that I made it, but it's the result of watching Wilton YouTube videos. I was watching so many it was keeping me from going to sleep a few nights. "Oh, that is so cool...wait, what are they recommending next? Oh I have to watch that too!" I believe is how the internal dialogue went. I started watching them to remind myself of everything I've forgotten over the years and quickly led to new techniques...seen in the cake pictured. The scraper painting on the bottom border, and the hydrangea flower on top. Not bad for a first attempt.

I want to try sunflowers next. They looked super easy in the video I watched. I'm not sure when I'll try that. I have to start being more careful in my diet because my blood sugar started going up after Easter. I'm not sure why, because I didn't think I was eating that much different than usual, although I had started eating bread and other gluteny things again...it's so hard staying away from gluten. I don't know if I have an actual gluten sensitivity, but I do know that I hurt a lot less when I stay as gluten-free as possible. If I can ever afford the "artificial" powdered sugar I'll give that a try for home cakes. I don't know if I'll ever decorate for others, though I'd love too.

Cakes aren't the only things I've been baking. I've been making cookies and pies as well. I've started using artificial sweeteners for that too. The one chocolate chip cookie recipe I've been using a lot actually came off the back of the sweetener bag. Even Mr. Janney likes them. It doesn't take all of the sugars out of the recipe, but it does help reduce them.

The nutritionist I've been seeing wants me to consider going on the Keto diet, a low carb/ high-fat diet. I'm not sure I want to be that strict, but I'm willing to try to get as close as possible. I like having toast with my eggs, and it's hard to not have at least 2 slices (down from my usual 4). And potato salad! It's summertime and potato salad is my favorite summer salad. I tried swapping the potatoes out for cauliflower and it wasn't bad. Not the same, but not bad.

I know a lot of it is going to come down to portion control. And I've never been very good at that unless I actually measure stuff out and keep a journal of everything I eat. Which is annoying. Very annoying. Especially if I have a food freak out and eat everything I can get my hands on. I did get a little worried today after breakfast. It was very low carb...black coffee with sucralose, eggs and bacon on a cauliflower English muffin I had made myself. Just a few hours later, I was shaky in the legs. I knew it was probably a 'false low' but I took my blood sugar anyway to check and it was down to 82. Not too low, but considering my morning fasting number had been higher, and it was now lower after eating, I thought it best to eat something to give it a little boost. Of course, I now need to make more pretend English muffins, but I'll do that tomorrow.

In the meantime, I have to put laundry away and try to resist a second piece of strawberry rhubarb pie...

Too Much Fun?

Well, Saturday was a fun day and I paid for it on Sunday. That's one theory anyway. The achy pain and sluggishness I felt today could also be due to the gray rainy day it was. 

Saturday was my family's annual Memorial Day picnic. This is on my mother's side, though it often includes relatives from my dad's side as well. We either have it at RoundTop park, or the Waverly Glen Park. Each park has pros and cons. In more recent years we've held it at the Glen more often. I think there are more memories there for some of the older family members such as my mom and her sister.

How much is that doggy in the...mirror?

So Mr Janney and I were up earlier than our norm. Even off work we tend to stick to our second shift schedule. It can cause trouble sometimes, but since I plan on returning to work I see no point in altering my life any more than I need to.

We even took the dog along. Jaclyn was due for an outing anyway. It was a bright sunny day, and very warm.

Waverly Glen Falls

We reserved the pavilion closest to the falls, but there is still a decent distance to walk. Not quite a quarter mile one way. I walked up there twice, a few of the kids were back and forth all day. To be young again! Or a dog...because even Jaclyn got her paws wet!

We've had recent rain and the falls were flowing! I remember more than one year the falls were dry. Because of the nice weather, there were quite a few people out and about. I remember once or twice we've had the park to ourselves...like the one year back when I was in high school and it poured the entire time we were there. Being young and dumb, we played in the rain anyway. And then, I paid for my fun then too because that was the night I woke up in excruciating pain...was taken to the doctor's later the next day and learned I had a severe inner ear infection that had bubbles on my ear drum. That was not fun and actually was just the first of many,

But back to the present. The food was good. I had some things I shouldn't have, though I tried to keep my portions small. There is never a good time to start modifying your lifestyle and diet, but when there's any kind of family gathering with good food, it feels twice as hard. But then, any time is a good time to start down a healthier path. No time like the present and just do it and all that. I think my favorite cheat of the day was the S'more I had. Yes, just one...because I had already been "bad" with the banana bread and the sea foam salad. A little of something doesn't hurt, but a bunch of little somethings always add up!

My blood sugar was good when I got out of bed shortly after noon on Sunday. I was really happy with the number, I think it was 146. Down over 50 points what it used to be running. I think it's also worth noting that my blood sugar before bed was 107. So, YAY!!

But that was about the only thing that was good. My body was achy. I was tired, didn't want to get out of bed, much less move. It didn't get better as the day went on. We did go out to Mr. Janney's parents. Didn't do much because it was raining. Just hanging out is always good. I haven't taken my night time sugar yet, but will shortly as I am heading to bed once this post is up. Not even the A-Team can keep my eyes open!

I hope everyone who is celebrating Memorial Day has a safe day. Looking forward to staying home myself...well, as of right now anyway! We do tend to do things spontaneously sometimes, but more about that in another post.

Peace and love to you all!

Surgery and Happiness

My first book cover!

A long time ago, a friend asked me when I was going to be publishing my third novel. The same friend who framed my first novel cover and gifted it to me in a frame. I even started a blog post about it like I promised her and never got around to finishing it, so I'm gonna take a stab at it again.

One of the symptoms of depression is a lack of interest in your hobbies and activities that you like. And I have fought depression for as long as I can remember. Even in the midst of happiness, I was often able to feel the nagging low of depression beneath the surface. I have lost jobs because of depression and what would probably be diagnosed as PTSD. I've lost friends, because I wasn't able to keep in touch with them...or they decided that I was just too depressed for them to hang out with me.

And it has kept me from writing. I remember posting a tweet quite a few months ago that I was even so depressed that I didn't even want to read a book...something I think bothered my husband when he learned  that more than it had me. What can I say, I'm used to the depression at this point!

A lot of it was cyclic. I'd be more depressed around my monthly period, I don't know how much of it was hormones or the lack of conception. I'd try to write and nothing would come together, which made me even more bummed out. I'd eat sugary things to feel better...but then be bummed because my weight and blood sugars were going up.

This past year, after numerous doctors appointments that pretty much said, "Sorry, I don't know why you're not getting pregnant because there's nothing wrong with you." I became fed up with that entire part of my life. I changed doctors, and asked for a hysterectomy. This one said yes to it and after approval from my primary care doctor, it was scheduled. At first the doctor was just going to take the uterus, the ovaries he would leave if they looked good, and he'd also take my appendix if it was easy to get to...depending on whether he could do it all laparoscopically or if he had to open me all the way up. The day of the surgery we discussed it and I made the decision for him to take the ovaries no matter what they looked like...because I knew that if they stayed, I would still be stuck with the monthly hormonal flux.

After the surgery I was pleased to learn that he was able to do everything he needed without opening my abdomen up...and that it was a good call about the ovaries because they were a mess. Apparently the thing I'd always wondered for about 20 years was true. I had endometriosis.

Me after the dentist said I had good teeth!

I'm not going to go on a lot about that, as I've provided links if you want to see what it does to the female reproductive system. It is something that can't be diagnosed without looking on the inside. It is the reason why I wasn't ever going to get pregnant.

I was also thrilled to realize that a HUGE chunk of my depression was gone. The weight that had been suffocating me was no longer there. I'm just over 2 months after the surgery and I feel good. That's something I'm not really used to! Aside from the issue with my foot, I feel like I could conquer the world! I'm following the doctor and physical therapists orders, so I'm hoping things will be better with that in a few more weeks. It will help when I can get into the water for swimming, far less stress to the feet to exercise that way! I'm also seeing a nutritionist to help with my diet...I know I could easily google what I need to know, but I want the human connection to help get me (and hubby) started. It helps knowing that I have a food journal that she wants to see...I know I could lie on it, but that would be self defeating and I don't want that. I love that she didn't make me feel ashamed for the junk food on the last one...just 'yeah, you need to fix this.'

There's still a little bit left. It likes to come out after family drama, or financial headaches (it hurts not having both of us working). But that's far more manageable than what I used to go through. I laugh a lot more than I used to.

My new goal for my third novel is before the end of 2018. I have pulled the first novel out and am going to read through it, and then the second, to refresh my memory of the characters and where they've been and where they're going through...an idea I credit Tad Williams with because I recently read where he did exactly that to write a new trilogy for his Osten Ard world. I want to get my Craig and Angela stories done so I can move on to other projects. I have a post-apocalyptic story I want to do and another fantasy series I'd like to get back into.

You don't want to see a before pic!

Another thing that has been holding me back, aside from a crashed laptop (thank you Windows 10), is a cluttered desk. I'm a bit of a clutterbug, something I have been improving on over the years. But yesterday I did a lot of decluttering. I even said to Mr. Janney, 'Now that I've found my desk again, maybe I'll start using it again.' It's not quite organized, but it's a lot better than what it was. I got more done that I thought I would, which is always good!

I'm feeling pretty hopeful about things in general. I worry a little that the depression is going to come back, but I'll deal with that when and if it happens. Because life is too short to waste worrying about what 'might' happen. I'm actually a little excited to see what the future holds for Mr. Janney and I.

Wrapping up so I don't bore any of you! Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Squirrel!!

Medically relaxed before surgery

Boy, I sure do distract easily! I work on keeping these blogs active, then have one little surgery and blammo..."What's a blog?" My hubby picks on me all the time because just like the dog in Up I distract rather easily...hence the title!

That was back on March 7th. And here it is 2 months later. I have done a lot of binge watching different tv shows thanks to Ion, USA and WeTv. I have finished the Memory, Sorrow and Thorn trilogy by Tad Williams and am all set to start the The Last King of Osten Ard by same.

I have written a few words in my work in progress, but I am probably going to have to do the same as Mr. Williams did when he began to write his new trilogy...read the first books to refresh my memory.

Still off work at Easter but well enough to travel, Mr Janney and I took my mother to her sister's for the weekend. The biggest challenge I had that weekend was sleeping on our air mattress...getting back up was the hardest part, especially trying to do it without waking Mr. Janney. I never was able to, even though that one time I simple rolled out right onto the floor! Each time one of us even shifted, the other felt it. Still, it was a good weekend and worth that irritation.

I returned to work in mid April, probably a little too early but I was willing to give it a shot. I think if surgery had been my only issues I would have been able to soldier through it. But my life is never that simple. A few years back, at my previous job, I had some foot issues that kept me out of work for a few months. Guess what??? Different issues, same foot. It's probably both feet, but we only did MRI's on the one. When the doctor came in to discuss the results of said MRI's his leading line was, "It's probably be easier to list what's NOT wrong with your foot." Not very encouraging to say the least.

Everything from possible ganglion cysts to tendinitis to a chronic sprained ankle. Oh, and arthritis. Just regular arthritis - thankfully I tested negative for rheumatoid arthritis! And don't let me forget the fact that I apparently have an extra bone in my foot! I feel like a genetic freak sometimes. I'm in the middle of my second week of physical therapy, and the doctor and I will be talking about work on Wednesday.

Regardless of all that...my top two wisdom teeth will FINALLY be coming out on July 5th. They've been bothering me for a few years now and I decided I'd had enough. Since I've been getting everything else done, might as well just do it and get it over with.

"Really Mom...another picture?"

There have been a few other things I've been up to while I've been off on medical leave. But I think I'll break them up into a couple posts. Myself, I don't like reading overly long blog posts, so I try not to write them. I will say that my beautiful doggy Jaclyn has been very spoiled these past few months having both of us home (Mr Janney has been unemployed since February - more about that another time). I was working on organizing my desk earlier and found her laser light so I'm sure that'll be coming out and keeping her entertained sometime tomorrow.

Never giving up!!

One thing I'm going to be doing for a little bit, to save myself some energy, is copy and pasting these blog posts so that both of my blogs are kept active and hopefully relevant. And I'll still be posting pictures on Wednesday. Just because I like taking pictures, much to my husbands amusement. I have been using my Instagram quite a bit recently, as well as getting into Tumblr a little bit.

For now, take care and never underestimate me...I keep plugging away hoping to blossom just like my mom's dormant daffodils! I just hope I don't go through a decade long dormancy like they did! They've been steady for about 8 years now.

Never giving up!