Here We Are Again

The candle holder says 'Dream'
A gift from my mother.

Here we are again. At the end of a year and at the cusp of a new one. A time to reflect on the past year, and a time to look forward with hope.

We've completed one more circle around that brilliant yellow orb in the sky and what do we have to show for it? A few more pounds, perhaps. Fewer dollars. But life goes on, right?

It most certainly does.

This past year has been a hard one for me emotionally. I gave up on my dreams of having my own children when I had my surgery back in March. While it was medically needed, it was still a hard thing for me to deal with. The finality of it all...coupled with the knowledge that even without the surgery, pregnancy was never going to happen for me...was a bitter pill to swallow. Mr. Janney and I have not ruled out adoption, but if we do it is a someday issue. Most likely we will remain that crazy aunt and uncle.

It has been a year of uncertainty as we struggled with jobs that ended at the 'wrong time' and schooling that didn't start at the 'right time'. But - we still have a roof over our head, and food on the table, so things aren't as bad as they've felt. I mean hey - Thanos snapped his fingers and we didn't disappear, so things can't be that bad, right?

The future is even more uncertain. Mr. Janney and I have our road retest January 3rd (we failed that part a few weeks ago). We're both feeling confident that this time we'll pass. We each failed some of our permit tests the first time around, and then nailed them the second time around. Like I told my 'doppelganger' Robyn at Sage - our timing has been 'off' all year, but it seems to be working out so, hey - there must be a reason. We're just going with the flow at the moment.

So, I've been using the time until then to work on my novels. My final edit of the revised Farmer's Daughter is complete and I just need to implement the corrections. Ring of Fire will be right behind it. Then I can pour everything into Bigger Than the Beetles. And try to decide whether I have enough ideas for a 6th novel in the series based on a dream I had the other night. We'll see. (If I do, it'll be called 'Full Dragon')

Sometimes I worry that I write too long of a story. My word counts come in near to the same length as Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring....yes, I've googled this. At least I am nowhere near the word count of Eye of the World or any of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time novels...I'm not sure I'd have any kind of fan base if I did that. Well, it's only one person who has complained about the length of the story and it's a person whose opinion I value so it's a bit of a struggle sometimes. On the other hand, I think it would make a great tv series, so there's that much.

I guess, better wrap this up for now. Just checking in with you all to remind you I'm still working at my stories amid life's uncertainty. I hope you've all had a pleasant enough holiday season and that it wraps up without incident next week as the current year blends into the new one.

Stay safe and much love!